First off, scroll down to the previous post for the scintillating details about how to score a Christmas card!
Go on, I'll wait.
(tapping fingers on desk)
Okay! Back already? Here is a quick (okay, really, really LONG (you've been warned)) story about cat window seats, aka "perchs" ("perches"?), for anyone who may be googling them trying to decide which one to pick.
I thought I'd buy my cats window seats for Christmas.* You know, those ones that attach to the windowsill and have a nice fluffy cover on the seat part?
So I started googling and discovered that a halfway decent one would run about thirty bucks, at which point I figured that the cats could flippin' well SHARE and decided to buy one seat instead of two.
I went to PetSmart last night, picked up a thirty-dollar Lazy Pet Kitty Window Perch**, took it home, got it out of the box, grabbed my cordless screwdriver so I could bolt it to the window frame, and discovered ...
... it attaches to the window frame with Velcro and tape. VELCRO and TAPE.
What. The. F*ck.
Look, I don't know about your cats, but my cats are pretty enthusiastic and energetic and klutzy. I'm guessing it would take about two days of cats jumping up on that thing for the Velcro and tape to give, and for it all to come crashing to the floor. And then I'd be left with a nice wide strip of tape goo on my windowsill as an added bonus. And possibly also a vet bill.
Well. Maybe it's some sort of super tape!, I thought. Maybe it DOES hold and not peel off the sill.
So I went on line and started googling.
Hah! Fail. The tape does not hold. I THOUGHT SO.
But! All is not lost. There is another type of cat seat, called the Cat Napper Window Perch, which evidently comes with optional bolting screws so you can SECURELY ATTACH the damn thing to the windowsill, as opposed to giving your cats a complex on the fateful day that they hop onto their window seat and send it, and them, crashing to the floor.
So! Am I going to return the Lazy Pet Kitty Window Perch and replace it with a Cat Napper Window Perch?
Not exactly. Because while I was perusing the ads in the paper today, I noticed that Dollar General has adorable little fluffy comfy cat beds on sale for five bucks each.
I am going to return the thirty-dollar velcro-and-tape kitty-window-perch-collapsing-travesty, and replace it with two five-dollar fluffy comfy cat beds, which I will then place on top of the dressers in the bedrooms so the cats have a nice window view. And I'll put some of that dollar-store shelf-liner-gripper stuff underneath the fluffy comfy cat beds, so they don't go flying off the dressers when the cats jump into them, although frankly I would probably pay to see something like that.
There ya go. Total savings? Twenty bucks. And I get two beds instead of one. And I don't have to worry about the cats getting PTSD from having a window seat go crashing out from under them.
Ta Da! End of story! People who got here by googling "cat window seat" or "cat window perch", you're welcome. Come back any time. Here's a cat toy review I did a couple of years ago, if you're interested.
To my regular readers who just wasted ten minutes of their lives reading about cat window seats and are now pissed, I am sorry. I'm performing a public service here. I should get an award, for Pete's sake.
See you tomorrow!
*Yes, I DO buy them Christmas gifts. SHUT IT.
**It just about killed me. I am CHEAP.