... I was in the shower this morning, thinking about the famous woman who died yesterday. The politician's wife, who fought cancer for the past several years before finally succumbing.
And everybody's talking about how great she was, because she was selfless and caring and forgiving, and you know what I see?
Doormat.
She gave up her career to help her husband run for president, and what did she get for it? He cheated on her. So she forgave him, and what did he do? He knocked up the other woman.
The cancer was just an extra added turd bonus from the universe.
You know what? I spend the first half of my adult life acting a lot like this woman. I let people walk all over me and forgave them. I gave and I gave and I gave, and what did it get me? A shitty ex-husband, a lousy ex-boyfriend, and a bunch of people standing around with their hands out waiting for what I'd give them next.
So about fifteen years ago, I made a sea change. I cut off all the people who were only there for the good times, meaning about ninety percent of my friends and relatives.
And it felt GREAT. For the first time, I wasn't worried about making anybody happy but myself. And no, I didn't start taking from other people, I just stopped giving MYSELF away.
And now I'm happy as a pig in shit. My real friends are still here. The chaff got left by the side of the road a long time ago.
Selfish? Maybe. But I'll tell you what right now, the woman who died yesterday spent her whole life making other people happy, and what did it get her? Dead. Oh, sure, people are calling her great and selfless and caring and forgiving, but I can't see that her sacrifices got her a whole hell of a lot, other than a lot of kind words at the news of her death.
And you know what? Maybe she wanted it that way. Maybe that's what made her happy, giving her whole life to other people, and if that's the case, great! It's all about what makes you happy. That's the point.
Personally, I don't care if people call me selfish and grinchy and not a team player. Because I'd rather die happy than be called a great person, and I would not die happy if I gave up my life for other people.
I'd rather live happy.
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7 comments:
The immune system fights cancer constantly. Stress shuts down the immune system. Playing doormat can be stressful, but putting one's foot down can be temporarily worse.
Did you ever get out of the shower?
Or finally worse.
What I remember hearing right after she died was "Did you see her on the Today Show that one time? She was PISSED at John Edwards." She didn't shoot him in the crotch when she was that mad, instead she wrote a book about him. I think the selfless comments refer to her actually being selfless in other non-political ways.
So. Did you get out of the shower?
YES, I got out of the shower. Jeez.
Amen, I'm with you and made a change very similar a couple years ago. I am happier ,pleasing me. Way to go . B.
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