1. Is Bret Michaels balding on top? If not, why does he wear that do-rag? Is it pre-emptive against the day he really IS bald?
2. What, exactly, does Jim Bob Duggar do for a living? And wasn't he running for office a while back? Did he win?
3. Does Gordon Ramsay ever get tired of throwing fake temper tantrums?
3a. Did any contestant ever tell him "Say it, don't spray it"? 'Cause that would be awesome.
4. Do any of these reality-show women with the giant fake boobs wonder what they're going to look like when they're in their eighties? With everything all, like, droopy and saggy and grandma-y, except for the GIGANTIC RACK O'BOOBS out front? See also: Tattoos. I mean, a tramp stamp on an eighty-year-old? Nobody wants to see that.
5. Am I watching too much TV? Never mind, I know the answer to that one.