Product Review: Wish-Bone Light Thousand Island Salad Dressing

Okay, first off, let me say for the record that winter can shove it.

I woke up this morning to a fresh five inches of snow in the driveway and an ginormous snow wall at the end that the street plow dude had thoughtfully left for me. And at this point I am so tired of pulling on some sweats and grabbing the shovel and shovelshovelshoveling that I just want to cry.

And I KNOW that there are people out in the Midwest who have it much worse, but I'm pretty sure they all have snowblowers, so whatever.

Thus ends my diatribe against winter. STOP SNOWING, ALREADY.

So: On to my review of Wish-Bone Light Thousand Island Salad Dressing!

In a word: Ew.


I eat a lot of salad, and my go-to dressing has always been Wish-Bone Thousand Island. I grew up in a middle-class white family in the seventies: What can I say? It's like it was preordained that I like thousand island dressing. So when I saw that the Wish-Bone now came in a "light" version, I thought I'd give it a try.


People, that shit is gross.


Seriously, the main turn-off is that it was, well, shiny, and not in a good way. It looked like freakin' snails had crawled all over it and left snail-trails behind.

Not a good visual.

I mean, it's bad enough that thousand island dressing is orange, which is kind of odd to begin with, but add a slime coating and it's just gross.

And it tasted chemical-ly. I mean, I'm sure that any salad dressing has artificial ingredients in it, but this stuff tasted like it was straight out of the lab. It tasted really weird.


Add to that the snail-trail visuals, and no. Just no.


Now, you guys know how cheap I am. If I buy some new food that I don't like, I'll usually eat it up anyway, just to avoid throwing it away.


But after I ate a couple of bites of my Wish-Bone Light Thousand Island Dressing-covered salad the other night? I threw the rest of the almost-full bottle away.


'Cause that shit just ain't right.