So! Nobody likes my shoes. Or my socks. Or my shoes-and-socks combo. Whatever.
So I had to run down to the bank this afternoon, and on my way there I drive through this small town that has those "Welcome to X-town" signs on the roads, and underneath the "Welcome to X-town", they've got the town motto, which is "A Caring Town Proud of Its Community", which, well ... um ... okay?
I mean, if I was going to go by those guidelines, MY motto would be something like "A Nice Person Who Is Kind to Small Children and Animals", when in reality, it would be more like, "A Crazy-Ass Middle-Aged Lady Who Doesn't Give a Shit What You Think." See: Shoes-and-socks combo.
And I'm on my way to the bank, and I'm listening to NPR, which is all full of Egypt, to whom I can only say, be careful what you wish for. And plus, those crazy Tunisians did it first, so Egypt is just, like, a copycat who can't even have an original thought, so whatever.
And also while I'm driving to the bank I'm thinking about an email I got from a family member with whom I am not in regular contact, and it was one of those, "Hi! How are you! Just wanted to see how you are" emails, which is fine, except:
a. She sent it to more than one relative, and couldn't even be bothered to BCC, just CC-ing instead, so we all know it was a form email, and
b. I shit you not, she was all, "It's cold here, and blahblahblah, and I wanted to see how you're d" - and it ended. She didn't even finish the "doing", just stopped typing after the "d", which makes me kind of wonder if she dropped dead mid-email, and I'm thinking I should probably, like, call her or something, but then again I don't really care, except if I'm not here for a few days you'll know I'm away attending a funeral.
And I'm driving to the bank and I'm thinking about my haircut appointment for tomorrow, which originally was scheduled for last Saturday, except the only appointment my hairdresser had last Saturday was for 9 a.m., which I accepted in a moment of insanity, and then I had to call her back, like, three minutes later, and explain that the odds of me being anyplace at 9 a.m. on Saturday morning except for asleep in bed were, like, miniscule, and so we had to reschedule for tomorrow. At 12:30. I'm pretty sure I can make it.
Oh! But still thinking about the hair, the last time I got my hair cut was in *cough* September, so my normally short hair is now long enough to do a combover of Trumpian proportions, which maybe I'll actually do for my trip to the hairdresser's tomorrow, just to get a laugh.
And, on my way to the bank, I'm wondering why my new glasses, which I picked up last night, smell so strongly of chemicals. I mean, I don't have an overly sensitive nose or anything, but man, these glasses reek. I wonder if that's why nobody at the eye place has a sense of humor; they've lost too many brain cells to the chemical glasses.
But! Putting on my new glasses was like in The Wizard of Oz when they go from black-and-white to color, which makes me think that maybe I should get my eyes examined more than every five years.
So! That's what I was thinking about on my way to the bank today. What's up in your neck of the woods?