Thought and effort?! It takes more thought and effort for me to brush my f*cking TEETH than it would to pick up flowers at Walmart.
Seriously. I guess THIS is why I don't have a boyfriend. Because if you can't take an hour on f*cking VALENTINE'S day to go pick out something nice for the woman you supposedly LOVE, just go home. Just get the f*ck away from me.
ahahahahahahaha looks like we've hit a bit of a sore spot here, no?
Okay. If my theoretical boyfriend was at Walmart on an ordinary day, picking up motor oil and sparkplugs or something, and happened to see a bouquet of flowers at the checkout that he thought I'd enjoy, so he bought them and brought them to me, I'd be FINE with that. What a surprise! Flowers!
But! If, on Valentine's day, the best my theoretical boyfriend can do is drag his sorry ass to Walmart, HELL NO.
oh, and he'd better not EVEN give me that shit about how it's just a manufactured holiday made up by the card companies and you know I REALLY love you baby and
you just talked your way right out the door.
Shit. Give ME that shit about a manufactured holiday?*
Manufacture THIS, sweetie.
hoooooo boy I'm a'rollin' now.
You know what Walmart flowers on Valentine's day says to me? It says, "I don't really care. I don't care how you feel and I can't be bothered to take the damn time to FIND OUT what you really want, because you are just not that important to me. So take the damn flowers and be grateful already."
But I guess that's just me.
And I guess that's why I don't have a boyfriend.
Man oh man, this is better than THERAPY, you guys! Thanks! I'm working out my issues right here in front of you!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Who wants to date me? Come on, you KNOW you want to! Is fun! Ha.
*As far as THAT goes, ALL holidays are manufactured holidays, really. So don't EVEN go down THAT garden path, buddy boy.