Thursday, February 24, 2011

Bad Decision Saturday

Okay, first off, you need to scroll down to my last post, where you can view a picture of an alien ghost with glowing eyes. Is true!

Oh, and also, I accidentally published this post yesterday, when it was still half-baked, so if you are thinking this looks familiar, you're right. Whoops.

Now on to my tale of self-induced woe:

Last Saturday, I headed for Ithaca. The weather report was calling for one to three inches of snow, which: big whoop. Is nothing. The roads were wet but clear when I headed out, and we had already gotten a couple of inches, so I figured the snow was almost done.

And I'm driving driving driving, and the closer I get to Tompkins County, the harder it's snowing. And the wind started whipping. And the snow was blowing and drifting across the road and the plows couldn't keep up and by the time I got to Danby it was, all, "abandon hope, all ye who enter here".

But! I was almost to Ithaca by then, and I figured I might as well soldier on, to the Ithaca Antique Center, i.e., the best store in the world. Because as we all know, when you are driving in snow, the last thing in the world you want to do is stop. Because you'll never get rolling again. See also: I'm an idiot who is evidently willing to risk her life to shop for antiques.

Damn, I'm dumb.

ANYhoo, I went to turn into the parking lot of the antique store, except, whoops, I slid right past the driveway. No big deal, I thought, I'll turn in to the second entrance, except, whoops, I slid right past that one, too. Sideways.

I was beginning to realize I'd made a really bad error in judgement by starting out that day. But hey! They were calling for one to three inches, not a flippin' BLIZZARD. It's not MY fault the weatherman sucks. Classic me-reasoning: It's not my STUPIDITY that's about to cause my death; it's the weatherman.

So! I go in the store and start browsing, waiting for the snow to let up, at least a leetle bit, 'cause I mean, come ON, how long can it keep snowing THAT HARD?

Well. Let me tell you. When I first started shopping, they had a CD on the sound system, I don't remember what it was, but then the CD changed and they started playing an old Bee Gees (!) album. The one with all the songs from "Saturday Night Fever" on it. "How Deep is Your Love", "Stayin' Alive", blah blah blah. And it was annoying the SHIT out of me, because I never LIKED the Bee Gees*, but I couldn't just leave, because BLIZZARD.

So this CD is just going on and on and ONNNNNNN, and then FINALLY I heard the "click" of THE END, and

it started playing again.

If I never hear a flippin' Bee Gees song AGAIN, it will be too soon.

So! I wasn't sure what was going to kill me first: Blizzard-covered roads, or the Bee Gees. But! I had to escape the Bee Gees, so I left the store, brushed the blizzard snow off the car, headed out, and made it home alive. The roads in Ithaca were pretty god-awful, but the closer I got to home, the better they got. Whew.

Oh! But DO NOT let me forget to tell you about the amazing solution to my little weight gain problem! Oh, hell, I'll go ahead and tell you right now: Yoga pants. I resisted for YEARS, and I'm not gonna wear them out in PUBLIC or anything, but: Yoga pants. I shit you not. They are SO MUCH MORE COMFORTABLE THAN JEANS, you guys. Word.

And! Oh my God! When the HELL did the Independent Film Channel starting showing commercials? When did that HAPPEN? Because I am NOT HAPPY.

The end.

And! We are supposed to get snow tonight. And tomorrow. How much? I do not know. Because the weatherman cannot make up his damn mind. Shit.

*Grown men singing in three-part falsetto? Please.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ithaca is crazy town to drive in even in good weather! You are a brave, brave woman.