Oh, do NOT mess with me

I work the front desk for my office. Meaning, I have dealt with LOTS of door-to-door solicitors over the years.


Let me tell you a little story about AFLAC.


Some years ago, a team of AFLAC solicitors showed up at the office. They always travel in packs, usually four to a car, and they always send two people to the door.

This particular couple started giving me the ol' hard sell, even after I TOLD them that while they could leave literature for the owner if they liked, there was no way they were going to get in to see him that day.


They started pushing harder. AFLAC, in case you don't know, is supplemental insurance, and they started asking me all kinds of questions about my own insurance. And if I was married. And if I had kids, and when I said "no", they wanted to know WHY I had no children.

At which point I blew my top.

And asked them to leave the office.

They refused.

I practically had to SHOVE those two salesmen out the door, with them protesting the entire time.

Once they FINALLY left, I went on line, so angry I was shaking, and contacted AFLAC customer service. I let them know, in no uncertain terms, that they were NEVER to send AFLAC salesmen to our door again, and why. Namely, because a salesman asking a woman why she never had any kids is basically so far out of line it's ridiculous.

Flash forward to yesterday, when a man and a woman showed up at the door. When I asked if I could help them, they asked to see the boss. When I asked where they were from, meaning, "what company" (duh), they answered with the name of our town. Thinking maybe they actually were with City administration, as we deal with a lot of code enforcement people, I asked them what department they were with.

"Oh, no, you misunderstood", the guy said. "We just LIVE here."

Losing my patience at this point, I said, "How can I make this clearer? WHAT COMPANY DO YOU REPRESENT?"

"Aflac", the dude responded.

"You have to leave right now", I said. "AFLAC has been informed that they are NOT to send sales reps here, ever."

"Why?" the dude asked.

"It doesn't matter," I said. "You are to leave this office right now."

The asshole put up a fight, protesting and stalling and BLOCKING THE DOOR, until I finally went around my desk, pushed past him, PRIED THE DOORKNOB OUT OF HIS HANDS, and assisted him and his cohort out the door.

AFLAC, I am warning you right now. The next time you send salespeople to my door, it ain't gonna be pretty. Oh, and also? You might want to rein in your sales reps. A LOT. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's sick of their shit. Take your f*cking duck and shove it.