Okay, first off, there will be a Freaky Friday a little later on today, so just hold your horses, okay?
Oh! Also, I guess I really AM a non-smoker now, 'cause when I test-drove the Kia yesterday, I never even looked to see if there was an ashtray. It never even crossed my mind. Hmph!
Now! Last night I watched "Up", the cartoon movie that came out a couple of years ago. It's about this crabby-ass old dude and his boy scout sidekick who go on an adventure to Brazil or someplace.
You can tell I was paying really close attention.
ANYhow, I really liked the first part, but then I went and did something else for a few minutes, and when I came back there was some giant bird and a bunch of talking dogs and I was all, like, "as if!", which is pretty funny because if you've seen the movie, you know that if I can buy the plot line about how they GOT to Brazil I should have no problems with talking dogs and
wait ... where was I?
Okay, so the movie is good and I recommend it and all, but you know what drives me CRAZY about cartoon movies?
It's how they always have to put the protagonists into EXTREME PERIL before they get their happy ending. (Whoops. THAT sounded awful. Sorry.)
Over the holidays, I was subject to quite a few cartoon movies, thanks to a three-year-old controlling the TV programming at my sister's house, which we are not even going to get INTO right now, but anyway, all these damn kiddie movies make the heroes practically DIE before they go off into the sunset. What's UP with that?
I mean, in real life, I can safely say that I have never been chased by a hundred-strong pack of vicious dogs. Or dangled by a rope ten thousand feet in the sky and almost fell. Or forced to work on a subterranean chain gang. Or had my mother SHOT TO DEATH BY HUNTERS. (I'm talkin' to YOU, Bambi.) I'm pretty sure that almost NO ONE, in real life, has ever experienced these things.
So why do cartoons make it look like this shit happens ALL THE TIME? No wonder kids these days are all f*cked up. They think that the next time they open the damn front door, a giant wolf is gonna be there to swallow them whole or something.
Okay! That's my rant! "Up" is pretty good, if you can handle the suspenseful parts, which OBVIOUSLY I had a hard time dealing with, but that's because I am a preshus flower. Recommended!
Back soon with Freaky Friday!
UPDATE: If you haven't seen "Up" yet, BNG throws out some pretty big spoilers in the comments. Just so you know!