aaaaaaand here we go with Blacktop Watch.
On Saturday, my neighbor L was out in the yard, and I asked her, nicely, what was going on with her driveway.
"What do you mean?", she said.
"You're still not parking on it!", I said, laughing. "Is there a problem? Did the blacktop not set right?"
"Oh no, no, everything's fine", she said. "We're just not supposed to park on it for two weeks."
"Two weeks?!", I said. "I've never heard of that! It just takes a couple of days!"
"Nope", L said. "B (her husband) said two weeks."
Well, I thought, just a few more days.
And then, and then, B, the husband, was out in the yard.
"A month", he said. "You've gotta let it set for at least a month. I think I'll give it five weeks, just to be sure."
"A MONTH?!", I said. "Who told you that?!!!!! It only takes a couple of days!Didn't it set up right?"
"Oh, it set up just fine", he said. "But if you want the blacktop to last, the longer you stay off it, the better."
and then my head exploded.
Peeps, once blacktop has set, it has set. AND THIS SHIT HAS SET. We are living in upstate New York, not freakin' Borneo. The temps have gone down to the fifties and stayed there overnight several times since that driveway was paved. If it ain't set up by now, it ain't never gonna be, is what I'm sayin'. NEXT, these kind folks are pushing eighty. They shouldn't be buying green bananas, if you know what I mean. They do not need a driveway for the ages. And ANYWAY, the shit has SET. It is DONE.
At the very least, you'd think this would get them to start parking back in their own damn driveway:
That's my driveway. That's their brandey-new car, there on the left. And those two orange blobs on top of the car? That's my cats, climbing and leaving pawprints and scratch marks all over their brandey-new car.
I did not tell them to do that. They just figure, hey, if it's over here, it's ours to climb on!
A MONTH. Or, you know, FIVE WEEKS.
there went my head.