Tuesday, October 04, 2011

The M Word

Okay, menfolk, we are going to talk about lady stuff this morning, so you've been warned. Go leaf through an issue of Popular Mechanics or something.

So! I had to go to the doctor today for my annual lady-parts exam, which had extra-added-fun-ness because they were working on the building's heating system and it was FREEZING in there.

And! The nice lady doctor oh-so-delicately broached the subject of

of

oh hell I'll say it

MENOPAUSE.

dun dun DUNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Wow. Just - I can't possibly be old enough for that shit yet, right? RIGHT?

Right. Probably not yet. But she ran some ... tests... and said that there are some indicators that that particular choo-choo is heading down the tracks.

Which - yay, right? I mean, I've been on depo all these years because the great, overriding blessing of depo is no menstruation. And with menopause, no more periods! yay!

But then again, that means I'm old, right? Too old to pop out any kids, that's for damn sure. Although I spent my entire adult life avoiding getting pregnant, so there's that.

I just seem too ... young, somehow.

And now you guys are all howling with laughter and getting "old geezer" t-shirts made up to send me, I know. Ha!

Shit. I don't mind getting old. I guess. It beats the damn alternative, that's for sure.

5 comments:

Badass Nature Girl said...

At least they ran tests on you! I've been asking for 9 years and nobody out here will do it. I'm jealous.

Reading (and chickens) said...

It honestly seems like there's no good alternative: more periods, kids if you don't want them, menopause...um. Hmm. All delicious options?

rockygrace said...

It just seems a waste, somehow - these perfectly good reproductive organs will go with me to the grave, never used for anything but recreational purposes.

Maybe I should throw a retirement party? Or - HA! - I could a hold a going-out-of-business sale!

Oops - maybe "sale" is the wrong word ... I'm not that kind of gal ...

Becs said...

I didn't do the hormone replacement thing, just weathered the hot flashes and stuff. I am so glad it's all over. I promise you, you will be glad once this is done, too.

rockygrace said...

I haven't had any hot flashes yet - no symptoms at all, really. Keeping my fingers crossed ...

And I really don't even know anything about the whole hormone replacement thing. I mean, unless the symptoms get really bad, I'd just as soon avoid that stuff. I think. Hell, I don't know. Does it get you high? 'Cause then I might give it a try. Ha.