STOP LAUGHING! Yes, I bought the "30 Day Shred" DVD. SHUT UP.
I tried it for the first time last night, and, okay, first off, I'm pretty sure I don't want to "shred" anything. I'm pretty sure that if something actually shreds while I'm doing this workout, I'm doin it rong. See also: Trip to emergency room.
Oh! And right on the cover of the DVD, in GREAT BIG LETTERS, with no asterisk, is the phrase "Lose up to 20 pounds in 30 days!" Which, really? Because I think the only way I could lose 20 pounds in 30 days is by cutting off an arm on Day 29. Or becoming anorexic. Neither of which is especially appealing to me.
Okay, and also, the "Level 1" workout, which is supposed to be twenty minutes, is actually twenty-seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. F*ck you, Ms. Michaels, we ALL have counters on our DVD players. You're not fooling anyone, here.
All that said, first off, if you want to do this thing, you'll need hand weights. I started off with two pound weights, because I'm a wuss who has not worked out in, oh ..... ever. If the workout gets too easy (SNORT) you can always increase the weights (HA). And there are three levels of workouts, so you can increase your difficulty (OH PLEASE).
The twenty-seven minutes (see above) goes by pretty quickly, because the exercises change every couple of minutes. AND there's no dancing-to-shit-music-from-the-eighties bullshit, which is excellent, because I HATE that shit. Mainly because trying to dance and exercise at the same time is likely to result in embarrassing injury to myself, but whatever.
The backs of my legs were starting to emit little girly-shrieks by the time I finished, but I'm up and walking around today with no problem. Will I do it every day for the next thirty days? Probably not. Will I try to do it at least a few times a week, to try to get rid of the pinch-an-inch flab on my stomach? Probably. Is it worth the nine bucks? Definitely! Especially if I can bust it out twenty years from now and laugh hysterically at the workout clothes, which is all I do with my old workout tapes.
Oh yeah, and when I got done with the DVD last night, I had tacos and beer for dinner. Yum! Or, you know, oops.