Tuesday, February 09, 2010

It's like a bad Jeff Foxworthy joke

Oh, wait. All Jeff Foxworthy jokes are bad.

Anyway, the rumors are confirmed! A family member is dating his second cousin.

I think so, at least. This genealogy stuff is SO confusing.

Here's the deets: This particular family member was adopted as an infant by his uncle and aunt when his mother (his uncle's sister) was killed in a car accident. The aunt's sister is the mother of the woman he is dating.

So that's second cousins, right? Or is it?

ANYHOO, certain family members are skeeved right out by the whole holy-shit-they're-related thing. Personally, I'm more skeeved out by the ten year age difference (he's mid-thirties; she's mid-twenties), and the fact that this guy has been in and out of rehab for various addictions for his entire adult life. The woman in question is a babe in the woods compared to this thug. (Isn't my family fun?)

It should be interesting come family-reunion time, anyway. Sheesh.


~~Silk said...

No, they are not second cousins. They are adoptive first cousins, which technically is not cousins at all. The "adoptive" is significant because they have no blood relationship at all.

Quick lesson: First cousins have at least one BLOOD grandparent in common. Second cousins have at least one blood great-grandparent in common. (Draw a family tree, and you'll see how it works.) All states allow second cousin marriage, and most allow fist cousin marriage, since it has been shown that there really is no genetic problem.

The age and addiction things may be a concern, but the cousin thing definitely is NOT! They have no blood connection at all. Nada. Nothing. Your family is overreacting about a condition that doesn't even exist.

In fact, studies have shown that marriages within the branches of a family tend to be stronger than stranger pairings, since they they have known each other since childhood, and likely have similar experiences, history, and values.

I'm wondering - if I were widowed, and I married my late husband's widowed brother-in-law (husband of my late husband's deceased sister), would your family get upset that in marrying my brother-in-law-in-law, I am marrying my brother? It's pretty much the same situation.

Tell them they're displaying ingorance.

~~Silk said...

Oops. Typo. "First", not "fist".

Fish Food said...

Yes indeed, it should be fun. But even though they're not blood relatives I think it still feels a bit strange, because they have been brought up as cousins.

And Silk, I have to say that I think that marrying my brother-in-law (late husband's deceased sister's widower) is still pretty too much in-the-family for me!

No offence to my brother-in-law intended!

the queen said...

I think it's on the same level as my brother-in-law's situation: his first wife left him for his stepfather. No blood there, admittedly, but scandal, YES.

rockygrace said...

Whoa, queen, now THERE'S a weird situation.

Heather said...

Age differences can be an issue but most times its not. My dad is ten years older than my stepmom and they have been married 33 yrs. My hubby is 11 yrs older and we've been together for 18yrs. My bf is 16 yrs older than her hubby and they have been together 20 yrs.