Pompeii?

Okay, I've got this great huge post to do about the ballfield next door, but first I just HAVE to tell you about what was going on over there last night, because it is TOO DAMN FUNNY.

Okay, so the Little League games are every night during the week, and all day on weekends. They usually don't play on Sundays, but they lost so many games to rain last month that they've been playing on Sundays, too.

And the coaches drive me NUTS. They're so LOUD. There is this one coach, in particular, who will yell to a kid, and if he doesn't get the desired response (which is, I guess, any response AT ALL), he'll just keep yelling.

So it goes like this:

"Kevin! Stay on first! KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN!"

And then, a minute later,

"Stevie! Look at me! STEVIE! STEVIE! STEVIE! STEVIE!"

Oh. my. GOD. It gets old. And keep in mind that I can be all the way out in my back-backyard, FAR AWAY from the ballfield, and I can STILL hear that douchecanoe bellowing.

But! Last night there was a twist.

The coach is all, "KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN! STEVIE! STEVIE! STEVIE!"

and then -

"POMPAY! POMPAY! FURNITURE! FURNITURE!"

and I'm, all, whaaaaaaaa?

At first, I thought he was using a code. You know, like, "Pompay" means stay on first, and "Furniture" means steal second.

But no.

It became clear, as the game wore on (and ON) that these were the names of kids. The coach would yell, "PomPAY! Move out to center!" or "Furniture! Stay on second!"

oooohhhhhhhkay.

I am assuming that when the coach was yelling what sounded like "PomPAY", that he was actually saying "Pompeii." Which means that somebody named their kid after an ancient city that got buried by an erupting volcano. That's ... unusual.

But ... "Furniture"? WHO THE F*CK WOULD NAME THEIR KID "FURNITURE?"

I kept listening, thinking I MUST be hearing him wrong. Maybe the kid was named ... Bernasure? Perniture? But I swear, he was yelling "Furniture".

Shit. I shoulda had a kid. I coulda named it "Armoire".