Friday, June 10, 2011


Okay, I've got this great huge post to do about the ballfield next door, but first I just HAVE to tell you about what was going on over there last night, because it is TOO DAMN FUNNY.

Okay, so the Little League games are every night during the week, and all day on weekends. They usually don't play on Sundays, but they lost so many games to rain last month that they've been playing on Sundays, too.

And the coaches drive me NUTS. They're so LOUD. There is this one coach, in particular, who will yell to a kid, and if he doesn't get the desired response (which is, I guess, any response AT ALL), he'll just keep yelling.

So it goes like this:

"Kevin! Stay on first! KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN! KEVIN!"

And then, a minute later,

"Stevie! Look at me! STEVIE! STEVIE! STEVIE! STEVIE!"

Oh. my. GOD. It gets old. And keep in mind that I can be all the way out in my back-backyard, FAR AWAY from the ballfield, and I can STILL hear that douchecanoe bellowing.

But! Last night there was a twist.


and then -


and I'm, all, whaaaaaaaa?

At first, I thought he was using a code. You know, like, "Pompay" means stay on first, and "Furniture" means steal second.

But no.

It became clear, as the game wore on (and ON) that these were the names of kids. The coach would yell, "PomPAY! Move out to center!" or "Furniture! Stay on second!"


I am assuming that when the coach was yelling what sounded like "PomPAY", that he was actually saying "Pompeii." Which means that somebody named their kid after an ancient city that got buried by an erupting volcano. That's ... unusual.


I kept listening, thinking I MUST be hearing him wrong. Maybe the kid was named ... Bernasure? Perniture? But I swear, he was yelling "Furniture".

Shit. I shoulda had a kid. I coulda named it "Armoire".


Badass Nature Girl said...

"D' Plane, D' Plane!" At least everyone would know what he was saying then. You should tape a game some time when he's yelling and post it here.

Anonymous said...

Bridgett here...Pompey might be named for an Af-Am ancestor. Masters gave slaves stupid Roman names (Jupiter, Cato, etc) and families who wanted to honor granddad kept the name. Pompey is not that uncommon a name among southern blacks.

Furniture, however...

rockygrace said...

Hey, Bridgett! How have you been?

Interesting theory on Pompey. I'm STILL trying to figure out Furniture. I mean, he MUST have been yelling something else, but I can't figure out what, and the season's almost over ...

Anonymous said...

Bridgett again -- I'd comment more, but honestly now that I don't blog a lot (other than at Dear Student), the sign-in process for Blogspot means that I lurk more than comment. I'll just anon and identify myself in the comment if I want to do it quickly.

I'm also trying to finish up my book, so I'm not "supposed to be" online as much. Yeah well, that doesn't work for me.

rockygrace said...

Book?! You're writing a book?! Oh man, I didn't even know that!

Anonymous said...

Yep -- been writing a book for a couple of years now. I wound up taking last year off because I won a grant to do some writing about piracy (yohoho), but now I'm back at the original mss.