Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Holy SHIT you guys, they're gonna cut her flippin' TOE off

Okay, if you are squeamish, just TURN AWAY, okay? I'm warning you.

My sister TIB called last night.

"I just wanted to let you know," she said, "The doctor is going to amputate Mom's hammertoe tomorrow."

Huh? Whaaaaaaa?

A little backstory: My mother is an 86-year-old widow. She was diagnosed with dementia (Alzheimer's) eleven years ago. She lives with my sister TIB.

Mom has had the hammertoe for many years. She said it didn't hurt, and the doctor said that at her age, it was probably best to just leave it alone, as long as it wasn't causing problems. But in the last year, she started to develop sores on that foot where the hammertoe (and ohmyGOD do NOT google hammertoe it is DISGUSTING) was rubbing against her other toes. The doc was worried about infection. As it turns out, that toe is dislocated and she is not using it for balance anyway, so the doc says it has to go. Just like that. CHOP.

Oh my flippin' GOD what's NEXT? And you know what? They're not even going to KNOCK HER OUT. The doc says it's too risky, so they are going to do something called "twilight sleep" and CUT HER F*CKING BIG TOE OFF. And she's not even gonna get crutches or a wheelchair or ANYTHING, they're just gonna put one of those boot things on it. "There you go! Minus one toe! Have a good day!"

And you know what? Thanks to the Alzheimer's, she doesn't understand. I'm sure she was all, like, "Oh, if you think that's best, doctor, go right ahead!"

Whereas I would be out of that doctor's office so fast it would make your HEAD spin. Nobody's touching MY toes, areyououtofyourMIND?!

They are going to cut her toe off. Today. This is gross, you guys.


Badass Nature Girl said...

Good Grief! I hope it goes well, even though that doesn't even seem like the appropriate thing to say. What do you say in this case? I dunno! ACK! BTW, my mother was just diagnosed with hammertoes and I'm wondering if she's in the beginning stages, because nothing looks too terribly amiss at this point when you look at her feet, although it's extremely painful, she can barely walk. (shuddering)

rockygrace said...

With my Mom, it's OBVIOUS that her toe is seriously f*cked up. Really, it's gross. Or, well, WAS gross. I'm not sure what time the surgery is ... although honestly, I'm not sure that "missing toe" is going to look any better than "f*cked up toe".

Oh! And now I'm kind of idly wondering if "twilight sleep" involves vampires or werewolves or whatever was in those awful kids' books. Like, here's the doctor: "Okay, now this studly glowy dude is going to bite your neck and you'll go to sleep ..."

Seriously, is this what old age is? When they start to, like, cut random parts off of you? Because I am going to be all HELL NO, I am keeping all my parts, thankyouverymuch.

Badass Nature Girl said...

But her toe didn't always look that bad, did it? Even from the start???? Ow-ie. That elderly friend of mine that passed away recently had bad toes. Her big toe was at a 90 degree angle over her other toes and oh gawd, it looked so painful!

I have never heard of twilight sleep before, but my foot doctor did tell me about a way that they could cut that lump out of my toe, without putting me to sleep. They numb the area and then wrap my ankle and lower leg REALLY tight to prevent bleeding to death (oh yay!) and then they stitch the area up.


rockygrace said...

My Mom's toe was normal at one time. She didn't always look like a circus freak. (Sorry, Mom.)

And I know I'd prefer to be knocked out over "twilight sleep", any day. Bring on the drugs!

Badass Nature Girl said...

I sent my mom an email and told her to quit putting off going to the foot doctor!

I also looked up the twilight sleep thing and wow. It said it's used for minor, yeah. I really dislike being knocked out because of the side effects I get from it, but I think I'd welcome it if my toe was being amputated.