Thursday, June 23, 2011

Pants on the ground

Okay, so this is going to mark me as possibly the whitest person on the planet, but here we go:

I went up to the grocery store on my lunch break from work the other day to pick up a couple of things. And there was a kid, well, not a KID, I'm guessing mid-twenties, at the can return.

And he had his jeans belted around his thighs.

I mean, I'm used to the guys with the low-rider look, with their pants hanging low on their hips. WAY low, in some instances.

And just as an aside, young men: Do you know where that particular fashion trend started? In prison, that's where. You see, in prison you do not get BELTS, and so the prison-issued pants tend to SAG, and so when you wear your pants the same way? You are emulating felons.

What's that? "That's the point, white lady"?


But! Back to the dude at the can return! He was wearing plaid boxers, which was obvious because his jeans were belted around his THIGHS. And no, I am NOT talking mid-butt level, I am talking all the way BELOW his butt.

Now, I only take a half-hour for lunch, and he had many, many cans to return, so I couldn't wait around to watch him (try to) walk. And people tend to shoot each other over silly stuff in the neighborhood in which this store, and my office, is located, so I wasn't going to walk up and ASK him how he walked. Lest I get shot. And I am pretty sure that googling "pants around thighs" would take this computer to some places that my boss would prefer it didn't go.

So! How on EARTH do you walk with your pants belted around your thighs? I can only visualize two possible outcomes: (a) You take one step and fall over; (b) You take one step and your pants fall to the ground.

And even standing still, how do you keep pants which are belted around your THIGHS from just falling right off? Gravity is a law, not an option, last time I checked.

Oh man, I've gotta figure this out. Does anybody know how this dude keeps his pants up?


~~Silk said...


downtown guy said...

As silly as it looks, it's not the dumbest fashion I see around. Anyway, sometimes they hook their pants to their boxers. Sometimes it's just a matter of developing the right swagger that keeps them hitched up. It's a way to show off your ass and add another flash of color to the outfit.

Now, my pants ride the middle of my ass or lower, but that is because I am fat and I wear my jeans below my belly.

rockygrace said...

Ha, ~~Silk, that'd keep his undies up, at least.

and downtown, your comment had me trying to think of a dumber fashion, and I've think I've got it ... those discs that kids wear to make great big holes in their earlobes. I predict that next it'll be the metal-rings-around-the-neck thing ...

and hoo boy, this is gonna mark me as ancient for sure, but whenever I see a kid like that, all I can think is, "kid, you are making sure that you will never, EVER be hired for an office job. Hope that career sweeping floors at the tattoo shop works out for you."

and then I walked twelve miles to school. Both ways. In the snow.

Oh, and I love the idea of hooking the pants to the boxers! I'm picturing little suspenders ...

downtown guy said...

Actually, a good portion of my friends have stretched lobes, and they do everything from managing grocery stores to office work. I mean, it's been almost 20 years since those came into style, so it's not exactly a job stopper anymore unless they are simply huge. Tattoos on your face are still unwise unless you have alternative employment prospects, though. (I'm tattooed and have my septum pierced, in the interest of full disclosure. I'm 35 years old and worked in a state office for the last 11 years - just got laid off due to budget cuts.)

rockygrace said...

I think of tattoos (non-face, obv)and piercings as pretty mainstream anymore. Hell, I'VE got a tattoo, which means they are no longer cool. And even the earlobe thing, well, as long as it's not ... I don't know ... blatant. But yeah, earlobes down to your shoulders? I'm sorry, that shit ain't right for an office environment. Not unless you want to scare clients away. And it's not exactly reversible, is it? Not without plastic surgery, anyway.

Oh, and I've gotta ask - you can tell me to piss off if you want to - how do you blow your nose? Doesn't the ... um ... snot get caught in the nose ring?

just curious - feel free to tell me to f*ck off.

downtown guy said...

Nah, I don't mind. Honestly, I've had it for 14 years now - I barely notice it's there unless I'm eating a chili dog. It's set forward far enough that it doesn't really get in the way of blowing my nose, and it is easily wiped clean if snot gets on it. The only real drawback is that it does conduct cold in the winter.

rockygrace said...

Thanks, downtown - I've always wondered.

Oh, and I've been thinking some more about the pants dude - I mean, obviously, no one's gonna hire him to head a Fortune 500 company, but - how would you do ANY kind of work with your pants around your thighs? He has effectively taken himself completely off the job market by his choice of clothing.*

and if you can't work, because you can't WALK, does that qualify you for the Americans with Disabilities Act? Or does it not count as a disability if it's self-inflicted? Hmmm ...

*which maybe explains why he was returning cans for the deposit money in the middle of a work day.

downtown guy said...

Why would his off work clothes have anything to do with his work clothes? Mine sure don't.

rockygrace said...

Excellent point, downtown!

Rob said...

All of us famous CEO's, CFO's and COO's wear out trousers down around our knees. We do have the good taste to wear boxers with sailboats on them though. Plaid is so ghetto.

Holly said...

I think I went out with him in high school.