1. Hey, third time's the charm, right?
2. Is my brandie-new toilet supposed to make ominous gurgling noises every time it's used?
3. Could you please make it so I don't have to remove the top from the tank and yank up the float to make the damn toilet stop running?
4. For the love of God, can you please, please, PLEASE just fix this thing so it stops leaking water all over the bathroom carpeting?
5. Could you please wear a belt? PLEASE? Your plumber's crack is scaring the kittens. And me.
*I call him the "toilet-fixer-person" because I think it's been pretty well established that no matter what he may CALL himself, he is NOT a plumber. And really, even "toilet-fixer-person" is a misnomer, as he has yet to actually FIX anything.
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