Friday, December 12, 2014

Pro Tip: Leave the kids at home

So, I had to go to a funeral this morning, and there were no less than five babies in attendance.

Is this ... is this a thing now?  Taking infants to funerals?

Because, predictably, each one of those babies lost their sh*t at somewhere between the fifteen-minute and one-hour mark, and not predictably, as far as I'm concerned, the parents of the each of those kids let them wail on for quite some little time before carting them out of the sanctuary.

Manners, people.  LEARN THEM.  Oh, and there's this thing?  Perhaps you've heard of it?  Called a babysitter?  What. the. actual. f*ck.

Oh, I know it's churlish, complaining about babies.  But it just struck me as RUDE.  We are there to mourn a loss, NOT to listen to your child scream.

So, yeah, a funeral.  It was at a Methodist church, so I figured, easy-peasy, a couple prayers, a couple hymns, the eulogy and we're out of there.

But!  Turns out the funeral was not held at this dude's home church, for whatever reason.  Turns out he belonged to an evangelical congregation, and they were just borrowing this particular church.  For the service.

Evangelicals, man.  The service started with no less than four Christian music videos, and they were just warming up. The wife gave the eulogy, which was ... admirable, as she held it together amazingly well.  And because they're evangelicals, things skewed more toward the "yay!  He gets to meet Jesus now!" end of the spectrum, as opposed to the "oh no he's dead" viewpoint, so that was nice.

Funerals.  We'll each be the guest of honor at some point.  Leave the kids at home for mine, is all I'm asking.


Domestic Kate said...

I can imagine taking kids (it's literally a family event after all), but I can't stand when parents don't excuse themselves with their crying kids immediately. I hate being that childless person," but I'm told that a baby's cries are just as ear-piercing to their own parents as they are to heartless people like me. I think it's a generational/cultural thing. Parenting today is different.

rockygrace said...

Kate, I dunno, there's a big difference between a "family event" like a reunion or Thanksgiving, and a "family event" like somebody died and we are there to mourn. And there is no way that the kids there today were old enough to have any kind of future fond memories of Uncle B's funeral - they were just there because their parents couldn't be arsed to get a babysitter. And then couldn't be arsed to remove them from the service when they started to wail. Parenting today IS different - these people are selfish as sh*t. Personally, I would have liked to have heard the eulogy, but I guess that has to take a backseat to their preshus snowflake's temper tantrum.

I will say right now, if somebody brings a screaming toddler to MY future funeral, I will rise up from the grave just like that dream-cemetery-sequence in Fiddler on the Roof to haunt the a** of every single person there. Buy your advance sale tickets now because that sh*t's gonna go viral. Ha.

~~Silk said...

Babysitter? What's that? Oh, yeah, I remember - when I was a kid that's how teens earned pocket money. I don't know where kids get money these days, but it isn't shoveling snow or babysitting. Responsible sitters are next to impossible to find, and when you do get one to agree (and good luck if they don't cancel on you the hour before) they want 1.5 to 2 times minimum wage per hour, with a minimum of three hours guaranteed. Daughter got lucky - there's a local girl taking a course toward some kind of early childhood care certification, so she gets credit toward her degree. Of course, she still wants $10/hr. But Daughter had to fire her when she found out the boyfriend was visiting.

Yeah, if you take babies, walk them out when they start. But if you can't take them, a lot of people can't afford to go.

rockygrace said...

Oh I am tired tonight and I know this will sound unkind, but I will say that yes, if you cannot afford a babysitter, there are some events that you can not reasonably plan on attending, especially if you are not willing to leave once your kids start acting up. I took a half day off work today, unpaid, to attend this funeral, because it was important to me to be there. That was a choice I made. I expected it to be a solemn and reflective occasion, instead of a day care session. Silly me.

James P. said...

Preshus snowflake??????? HAhahahahahaha!!!!

I have just stolen that from you!

(But, I am sorry that an event that was to be meaningful to family and friends was ruined.)

rockygrace said...

Aw, Ginny, the event wasn't ruined. I mean, when you're starting with a funeral, how much worse can things get? :) And yeah, bless all those little preshus snowflakes.

fmcgmccllc said...

Wow, where I have gone to church there are crying rooms for the babies and the Pastors are not shy about telling people to use them.

People need to learn that their babies are not that exceptional.

rockygrace said...

A-men, fmcetc. It's just typical entitled behavior - "Well, *I* want to attend this event, and I can't get a babysitter, so screw it. People will just have to listen to my child flip his sh*t. Because I can't be bothered to leave when little Preshus starts to act up, either." Bah. Ha.