I was leafing through a Sears flyer this morning and came across this:
And I was all, "A onesie? Is that model really wearing a onesie?" But the flyer described it as a "printed jumpsuit". Oh, okay. That makes it okay then. NOT.
And then I thought, well, maybe it's supposed to be pajamas. Like that weird robe thing that was big a few years ago. But the model is wearing shoes - why you would you wear shoes with your p.j.s?
It was time to go online to the Sears site and do a little "jumpsuit" (their word, not mine) investigating. Which is when I came across this:
Okay, so, she's wearing it outside, so I'm guessing they're not trying to market these as p.j.s? But my God, that is one hideous ... article of clothing. If she wasn't anorexic, there would definitely be some camel toe going on, there. And why is Sears using an anorexic model? Sears? What is wrong with you, Sears? And those sunglasses ... Mary Kate? is that Mary Kate Olsen? There is so much I do not understand in that picture.
I kept going.
Oh my God ... this has to be a joke, right? A prank?
I just ... really? REALLY?!
And then I came across the piece de resistance. I had NO idea there was a market for clothing for double-peg-legged pirates, but - VOILA!:
Let's just ... ignore the double built-in peg legs for a moment, if we may, and look at the hands. Look at the hands. I guess this is a ... rear view? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND OH PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.
Sears. *shakes head sadly* I don't get it. AT ALL.