Faux Pas

So, last night after dinner, I scooped the litterboxes and then set the bag out on the porch so I could take it to the garbage can this morning.

This morning, I went out on the porch and ... no bag. What the heck?! Where did the poop bag go? Did an animal drag it off? But ... why?

And then I remembered. The local Cub Scout food drive. People were supposed to put bags of donated food out on their porches for collection ... last. night.

DEAR CUB SCOUT PACK 243 I AM SO, SO SORRY I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I FORGOT ABOUT THE FOOD DRIVE I DIDN'T MEAN TO DONATE POOP.

Oh lord.

On not jumping to conclusions.

I was not happy to see bow hunters in the park next door yesterday.

I have nothing against hunting in general, but hunting is not allowed in town parks, and most CERTAINLY not fifty yards from a house (mine).  I got a shot of the license plate and will send it to the game warden; confronting armed men is not generally a real good idea.

So imagine how not-happy I was this morning when I was cooking up my Sunday morning breakfast and looked out the kitchen window to see a cop and a hunter dragging a doe across my backyard.

What. The. Actual.  F*ck.  I figured that the hunter had jacked the deer and the cop had caught him at it.  In my backyard!  Oh, I was loaded for bear.   But I composed myself, waited until they were out by the road, and went to talk to them.

"Hey, guys," I said. "What happened here?"

The hunter explained that he was on his way to bow hunt when the car ahead of him, up on the main road not far from my house, hit the deer and kept right on going.  (I have no idea how; hitting a deer generally causes a LOT of damage to the vehicle.)  The deer, severely injured, managed to drag itself into the brush.  The hunter, wanting to put the deer out of its pain (and possibly fill his freezer for the winter, let's be honest), grabbed his bow from his truck and started tracking it. He finally managed to put the deer down in the brush on my rear property line, then called law enforcement to explain the situation.  (Hunting within a thousand yards of a house in this town results in massive fines, loss of hunting licenses, and surrender of firearms.)  The cop came out to assay the situation, and, after determining that the hunter's story was true, filed the necessary paperwork so that the man could harvest the doe.

So here's a situation where I was glad to have a hunter on my property, putting that poor deer down. Those yahoos from yesterday, however ... well, I hope they get their due courtesy of the game warden.

And in other news ... look how big the Foster Campers are getting!

Ain't they sweet?

Still here!

Yes, I'm still alive and kicking.  I feel like I'm FINALLY starting to settle in to the new job, at least a little bit.   Whew!

Last night I trapped, so this morning I had to head out bright and early.  Look what was in my front yard when I woke up!

There were actually TWO bucks out there, moseying through, which is really unusual.  I see does a LOT, but bucks, not so much.

Then it was off to the barn to see what we'd trapped.

We trapped a total of eight cats.  Once I got them to the vet's, it turned out that one of them was ear-tipped, meaning it had already been altered.  I ran that one back to the barn to be released.  Sadly, it turned out that one of the other trapped cats had old injuries that were so severe it had to be humanely euthanized.  The other six cats were spayed and neutered and will spend the night at the vet's and then be returned tomorrow.

After my second trip to the barn, I went in to the rescue to do medications because they were short-handed today.  Then, I had to go grab foster Lucky Nicky from home and run HIM to the vet's for a second FIV test.  Negative!  Yay!

I got him back home, did vaccinations on four of the fosters, mowed the lawn, moved traps back into the shed, did some laundry, and now? I just ordered a pizza, because I am WHUPPED.

Talk to you soon!

SNOW DAY!!!!!!!

And it's still coming down. 

Winter morning, interrupted

We got some snow last night, so this morning I was up early, shoveling and taking pictures.

After a while it started to get light out ....

I took some snow in for the foster kittens to play with :

And I just happened to be taking  a photo of Sodapop looking out the front window when the snowplow came by:

And deliberately swerved to knock over my newspaper tube.

Yep, he definitely swerved:

Now, SOME might say it's because of the flag I fly:

Or maybe it's the rainbow horse in the front yard that angered him:

Myself?  I'm reserving judgment.  We'll just see how long it takes for the town to send somebody out to repair the damage.

What in the hell is THAT?!

For the last couple of weeks, I've had a game cam on the ground out by the birdfeeder.  Mostly what it captures is sneaky sneaky deer in the middle of the night:

And in the daytime it does capture birds:

And sometimes there's a whole lot of nothing:

Except ... what's this?  Is that someone cutting through my backyard?:

Hmmm ... let's take a closer look:

It looks like ... a man?  With a hood on? And an ... apron?  But where are his FEET?

I have my theories as to what this actually is - but what do YOU think it is?  Enquiring minds want to know.

Autumn in New York

Yep, it's that time of year again - the most beautiful time of the year here in upstate New York.  All of these pictures were taken yesterday on the back roads I drive to get back and forth to the office every day.

As! Seen! On! TV!

OH YEAH.

I think these things were originally price-pointed at $49.99 on TV.  Then chains started carrying them for $39.99, and I allllllllmost bought some last winter, but I thought $39.99 was a little pricey for Christmas lights, and who knew if they'd even work, or look as pretty as they did on TV?  But then it was Ollie's to the rescue.  And let me say, if you do not have an Ollie's Outlet near you, I feel for ya.  It's like a low-rent K-Mart (or like the long-gone, long-lamented Philly Sales, for any local readers), and it's FABULOUS.  Most of the stuff is cheap crap, but when they get a deal in, they get a HELLUVA deal.

So!  The lights?  At Ollies?  Were $19.99.  But would they work?

I snapped up a box and waited for dark.   Ha.  I was afraid that because they were a knock-off from the original product, which is called a "Star Shower" (WHY DO I KNOW ALL THIS STUFF?!), they might be lame, but I can tell you right now they look AMAZING.  So pretty.  Now I'm thinking of going back and picking up another box,  to light up the BACK of the house this Christmas, because why not?

So!  Sparkle laser lights.  A++ would recommend.  I'm thinking these are going up the day after Thanksgiving this year.  Just to piss off the neighbors.  :)

Wild Kingdom, Part Kabillion

I had a little pie from Walmart (don't JUDGE) on a shelf in my kitchen. It should be noted that the cat door is ALSO in the kitchen.

I went to go out back yesterday morning and noticed something in the yard.  It was this:

SOMETHING had come in through the cat door, grabbed the little pie, took it out back, opened the package, pulled out the pie, ate the pie, PUT THE EMPTY PIE TIN BACK IN THE PACKAGE, and left.

JEZUS CHRIST these raccoons have got a lotta nerve.

J'ACCUSE!:

There's been a raccoon coming into the garage for a while now (Look at the SIZE of that thing!); once summer is over and any theoretical raccoon babies have been raised, it's time to dust off the live traps and do a little relocation project.

OR I could just follow Monty Burns' example:

KIDDING I am KIDDING.

And then!  AND THEN!

I'm in the Foster Room last night with Rosa and the kittens, minding my own business, when I hear a ruckus out in the hallway. SOMEONE (Sodapop, I'm looking at YOU) had brought a VERY ANGRY BLUEJAY into the house and let it go.

I grabbed the net (oh yes you'd better believe I have a net), caught the bluejay, stuffed the cats into the bathroom so they couldn't follow their toy back outside, and released the jay in the park next door, where it squawked VERY LOUDLY at me several times before flying off.

Instead of this house, which is evidently in the middle of a veritable vortex of wild animals, I shoulda bought a condo.  On, like, the fifth floor.  With the only access via elevator.

*sigh*

It's like Wild Kingdom, I'm tellin' ya

The other morning I heard some odd noises coming from the park next door.  Still in my PJs with my hair all a-kimbo, I grabbed my camera and headed over.

(I have no shame, evidently.  I'm all the time wandering around outside in my PJs and bedhead.  I bet my neighbors LOVE me.) (aw heck, they're all crazy, too, so who cares?)

Look!  A turkey!

He strutted around for quite a while before finally heading into the brush.

And in other neighborhood wildlife news, evidently there is more than one fox hanging around:

Hey!  Foxes!  Get offa my lawn!  ha.

So, the other night ...

... my crazy neighbors' (adult) kids were using a flamethrower as a weedwhacker out in their backyard.

I swear to God, I don't think that entire family put together has enough cards to make up a full deck.

The Apartment Files: The Naked Neighbor

I'm not sure how many tales I've told here about the various weird neighbors I had back when I lived in an apartment building.  I know I talked about the old dude downstairs who cranked his TV volume; he, and the guy who moved into that apartment after the old dude died, were the main impetus for me buying a house and GETTING THE HELL OUT OF APARTMENT LIVING.

But I don't know if I ever told you guys about Corey.

Corey was a young dude who moved into the apartment next to mine.  After he moved in, a couple of people warned me about him; they said he'd been in trouble with the law, had mistreated a girlfriend, etc. (hey, it's a small town; everybody knows everybody), but I hadn't had any trouble with him in our limited interactions, which mainly involved crossing paths in the parking lot or on the back porch.

Well, there was that one night, where Rocky had brought in a live baby bunny through the bathroom window and thoughtfully deposited on me in the middle of the night while I slept.  I woke up with a start, the bunny started screaming and went flying through the house with Rocky hot on its heels, and I ended up having to shut Rocky in the bathroom so I could scoop up the bunny and run it out into the backyard to set it loose.  All I had on was a t-shirt and sleep shorts, so I was pretty embarrassed when I headed back up the stairs to my apartment and saw my neighbor sitting on the shared back porch, but then I realized that he was sitting there NAKED and then I wasn't embarrassed for myself any more, just kind of weirded out, but that was the only real incident I had with the dude, until weeks later when I got a phone bill.  A really BIG phone bill.



And now this is waaaaay too long, so tune in next time for Part II of The Naked Neighbor.

Ain't got no time to CHAT

So!  When I left the house to go to work this morning, my cat-hating neighbor was at the end of my driveway.

"Oh, crap," I thought to myself, as I walked down the driveway, pasting a smile on my face and doing a mental eye-roll.

"Hey!," she said.  "Just wanted to let you know that (insert name of person who lives up the street) had a BEAR in her backyard the other night!  It took down their birdfeeder!"

"Oh, really?" I said, explaining that I, too, had had a bear experience.  "What's your email?  I've got a picture to send you!"

She gave me her email, and when I got to work I sent her this:

Heh heh I hope she pooped her cat-hating pants when she saw THAT.

But anyway, after she got done informing on the bear, she continued to stand there and chat, and I'm standing there, thinking, like, "really?  After you send me anonymous nasty-grams and then come and complain to me at length about the damage my cats are supposedly doing, now you want to be ... friends?"

'Cause that ain't happening.  That train right there has left the station.  And I dunno, maybe she felt bad about bitching about my (INNOCENT) cats and wanted to mend fences, but ... bah.  Nope.  Not happenin'. 

Neighbors.  Christ.

Holy F*CK there goes the neighborhood

The plot thickens

So, I found out who it was who wrote me the anonymous nasty-gram about my cats.  It was the wife of this guy:

Yep, the same people who dump all their lawn crap IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD PARK are the ones complaining about my cats being on their property.

The irony, it is rich.

At least this morning, she had the nuts to talk to me face to face about it instead of sending me another nasty note, I'll give her that.  She rattled off a long list of things my cats had supposedly done (ripped up her plants, sprayed her siding, destroyed a solar light (!), knocked over her birdfeeders (um, okay), and I expressed mystification, seeing as how my cats have never done ONE DAMN THING to MY property.

But!  I kept calm.  I offered to pay for any damage that she was sure had been inflicted by one of MY cats, as opposed to the nine billion OTHER cats in the neighborhood, as long as she could show me a receipt for the cost, and I started the pot by giving her forty bucks. 

Forty bucks!  She got a lot nicer after that.

So then I facebook-stalked her (OH YES I DID) when I got to work, and there she is on facebook, complaining about all the GROUNDHOGS in her yard. 

So ... is it my cats?  Or is the GROUNDHOGS causing the problems that she's blaming on my cats?

Oh, I think I know which one it is ...

Dear neighbors:  I hate you.


AND STOP DUMPING YOUR SH*T IN THE DAMN PARK.  Christ.

There goes the neighborhood

Several of my neighbors dump their yard waste in the park next door to my house.

Despite the fact that it is very, very easy to just mulch lawn clippings onto the lawn (that's what I do - all it involves is making an adjustment on the mower), and despite the fact that the local garbage service will collect yard clippings for twenty bucks a month, and DESPITE the fact that the town will pick up brush for FREE, several of my lovely neighbors insist on dumping their crap in the park.

There are now piles of yard waste in the park that have been there for years; when you heap yard waste in a big mound, it doesn't decompose; it just SITS THERE.  Looking like SH*T.

Dear neighbors:  I hate you.

Dear Kirby Vacuum salesman who knocked on my door last night:

The short answer is "No, thank you". The long answer is:
 
Really? In this day and age? When internet fact-checks are readily available? (See also: sellers of Mary Kay, Amway, diet-supplement-of-the-moment, etc.) You are involved in an MLM, aka Multi-Level-Marketing, aka Pyramid scheme. The ONLY people who make money in the company you volunteered for are at the very top. And yes, I use the words "volunteered for"  instead of "are employed by" , because not only will you not make minimum wage, you will probably end up in credit card debt after your little stint with this "amazing opportunity" is over. Please google the name of the company you are "working for" plus the word "scam" or "MLM" to find out exactly what you're getting into. (for Mary Kay, the best website is pinktruth.com). The products you are trying to sell are outdated and incredibly overpriced, and again, the only people who will make any money from this are the ones above you in the pyramid. Dude, it's now 9:30 at night, and you're STILL in a van with a bunch of other "employees", being shuffled from neighborhood to neighborhood, shilling a product that nobody wants. Trust me: You can do better.

Chlorhexidrine Scrub

Yeah, so, it was one of THOSE weekends.

Friday night, I noticed that one of Tinks' ears was kind of goopy.  When I cleaned it out, it was also stinky, so I figured he had an ear infection.  The regular vet was closed for the weekend, so I thought I'd keep an eye on it, keep the ear cleaned, spread on some antifungal in case it was a fungal infection, and call the vet on Monday.  Saturday morning his ear looked good, with only a little bit of hardened gunk in it.

Early Saturday afternoon, I got home from running errands to find Tinks with blood running down his face.  His ear was a bloody mess, so I scooped him up, forced him into a carrier (Tinks haaaaates being crated), and hurried off to the local walk-in clinic, which thankfully was open.

Turns out, at some point in the past few weeks, something bit Tinks.  Bit RIGHT THROUGH HIS EAR.  And here's the thing about long-haired cats:  Their skin is really thin, which leads to it healing really fast.  TOO fast, unfortunately, because it leads to abscesses when wounds heal too quickly.  On Saturday, Tinks "blew out" an abscess.

They shaved his little ear, and cleaned it all up, and gave him a long-lasting antibiotic injection, and sent us home.  With Chlorhexidrine scrub.  Which I managed to administer exactly ONCE before Tinks decided that was enough of THAT and refused to come near me.

*sigh*

But!  In better news!  I did manage to give the Rainbow Horse a touch-up on his paint job:

He looks much ... brighter now.  A couple of coats of varnish and he'll be good to go.  I think maybe I'll put him out by the mailbox.  The neighbors ought to LOVE that.