Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Wild Kingdom, Part Kabillion

I had a little pie from Walmart (don't JUDGE) on a shelf in my kitchen. It should be noted that the cat door is ALSO in the kitchen.

I went to go out back yesterday morning and noticed something in the yard.  It was this:

SOMETHING had come in through the cat door, grabbed the little pie, took it out back, opened the package, pulled out the pie, ate the pie, PUT THE EMPTY PIE TIN BACK IN THE PACKAGE, and left.

JEZUS CHRIST these raccoons have got a lotta nerve.


There's been a raccoon coming into the garage for a while now (Look at the SIZE of that thing!); once summer is over and any theoretical raccoon babies have been raised, it's time to dust off the live traps and do a little relocation project.

OR I could just follow Monty Burns' example:


And then!  AND THEN!

I'm in the Foster Room last night with Rosa and the kittens, minding my own business, when I hear a ruckus out in the hallway. SOMEONE (Sodapop, I'm looking at YOU) had brought a VERY ANGRY BLUEJAY into the house and let it go.

I grabbed the net (oh yes you'd better believe I have a net), caught the bluejay, stuffed the cats into the bathroom so they couldn't follow their toy back outside, and released the jay in the park next door, where it squawked VERY LOUDLY at me several times before flying off.

Instead of this house, which is evidently in the middle of a veritable vortex of wild animals, I shoulda bought a condo.  On, like, the fifth floor.  With the only access via elevator.



fmcgmccllc said...

Whatever happened to that pie, they sure were neat.

Random Felines said...

at least the burglar didn't take the packaging apart and leave it all over the back yard

~~Silk said...

Check this out - - to keep raccoons and other beasties out.
This particular one is rather expensive, but there are cheaper brands that do the same, just less programmable. Search for "pet door lock collar".

(Sorry, but there's no easy way to keep your friends from bringing in "toys", except to reason with them. Perhaps if you sit them down explain why this is unacceptable....) (And if you do, video the talk and share it with us.)

the queen said...

My guess is the raccoon never took the pie pan out and just reached in and grabbed bits of pie with his or her nimble paw. But still! How smart are they?

rockygrace said...

fmcetc. and Random, yeah, he was a tidy little bugger.

~~Silk, the only problem with those passport doors is that the cats have to be collared - and after Pony nearly strangled himself twice on supposedly "break-away" collars, I don't collar the cats anymore. It's a good idea, though!

and queen, "smart" is one word for it. "devious", "sneaky" and "annoying" are others. :)

James P. said...

I have no idea how you can sleep knowing that non-residents are rummaging through your kitchen at night. This particular raccoon's defense may have been that he/she was relieving you of a pie product that was past the "best by" date, thereby saving you possible digestive issues.


rockygrace said...

Ginny, yep, that raccoon saved me from food poisoning! Ha.