I had a little pie from Walmart (don't JUDGE) on a shelf in my kitchen. It should be noted that the cat door is ALSO in the kitchen.
I went to go out back yesterday morning and noticed something in the yard. It was this:
SOMETHING had come in through the cat door, grabbed the little pie, took it out back, opened the package, pulled out the pie, ate the pie, PUT THE EMPTY PIE TIN BACK IN THE PACKAGE, and left.
JEZUS CHRIST these raccoons have got a lotta nerve.
There's been a raccoon coming into the garage for a while now (Look at the SIZE of that thing!); once summer is over and any theoretical raccoon babies have been raised, it's time to dust off the live traps and do a little relocation project.
OR I could just follow Monty Burns' example:
KIDDING I am KIDDING.
And then! AND THEN!
I'm in the Foster Room last night with Rosa and the kittens, minding my own business, when I hear a ruckus out in the hallway. SOMEONE (Sodapop, I'm looking at YOU) had brought a VERY ANGRY BLUEJAY into the house and let it go.
I grabbed the net (oh yes you'd better believe I have a net), caught the bluejay, stuffed the cats into the bathroom so they couldn't follow their toy back outside, and released the jay in the park next door, where it squawked VERY LOUDLY at me several times before flying off.
Instead of this house, which is evidently in the middle of a veritable vortex of wild animals, I shoulda bought a condo. On, like, the fifth floor. With the only access via elevator.