Monday, April 18, 2011

Smells like Ben-Gay

On Saturday, in a moment of insanity, I did Level 3 of the Shred.

As a result, I have been sleeping with a heating pad, smelling of muscle rub, and peeing blood.

Oh, Jillian, why do you torment me so? You know, when she trash-talked about "gargling your heart out" and "feeling like you're going to die" during the workout, I really feel like she should have included the part about "pissing blood". Just as, you know, a friendly heads-up.

Oh! But for once, a medical google search was actually less frightening than I thought it might be. Turns out peeing blood is actually pretty common. Now THERE'S a relief.

and you know, it's really too bad that the Shred only goes to 3. Right now I'm picturing Level 4, where velociraptors come and pick you to pieces. Or Level 5, where as soon as you press play, it activates an alarm at the firehouse so the EMTs can come wait in your driveway for you to drop dead.

Get on that, Jillian, would ya? You could test-market it on The Biggest Loser. Now there's an episode I'd watch. Or, you know, not.


Badass Nature Girl said...

Holy crap! So what causes the blood in the pee after a work out like that?!

rockygrace said...

I'm guessing it's that my internal organs have started to liquify. Instead of getting shredded, I'm getting pureed.

Badass Nature Girl said...


Anonymous said...

There are certain things in life that make me feel faint. Anything other than urine coming out of my urethra (blood, stones) qualifies. Thanks for that.

Also, anything having to do with fingernails or toenails being removed. So, just warn me if you plan on telling one of those stories :-)

Logical Libby said...

LEVEL 3? Wow. I thought that was only for people who made it through the Spanish Inquisition.

rockygrace said...

Sorry to squick you out, Kate.

And Libby, yeah, I think Jillian would have felt right at home torturing some infidels.