Friday, July 03, 2009

Three Months

Number of cigarettes I would have smoked between April 3 and today, had I not stopped smoking: 2,700

Money saved to date: $481.50

Observation: People who never smoked do not think it's a big deal that you quit. People who used to smoke, and quit themselves, have evidently forgotten how blessed hard it is to quit, and do not think it's a big deal that you quit. Active smokers are threatened that you quit and stay away from you. In short, don't expect any kudos. From anybody. Which kind of sucks.

I sometimes dream that I'm smoking. In my dreams I'm driving in the car, and I look down and there's a lit cigarette in my hand, and the ashtray is full of butts. And in my dream, I'm all, "Oh nooooo! When did I start smoking again? Whyyyyyyyyy?"

And that's all I'm gonna say about dreams. Sorry about that brief lapse into dream analysis.

So! One-quarter of a year, smoke-free. Dear jeezus, I hope it gets easier.


the queen said...

People with fathers who died of lung caner and still smoked in hospice say "KUDUOS!"

rockygrace said...

Thanks, queen!

Bridgett said...

People who smoked for a brief period twenty-five years ago and STILL WANT CIGARETTES when they get stressed out think you are doing a stunning thing.

Happy Independence Day.

inflammatory writ said...

Dude. SERIOUSLY. I hate self righteous non smokers (as you know, because you read my blog), but even worse, I hate self-righteous EX smokers. Maybe it's like childbirth and you forget how hard it is? Whatever. Either way, it's like screaming in the middle of the forest - no one can hear you and no one cares!

I for one salute you. You were a heavier smoker than me (I did maths!), and this shit is hard. You're doing awesome. We're both doing awesome. Hang in there.

signed - your fat, depressed, anxious, craving a smoke like nothing else fellow blogger.

rockygrace said...

Thanks, Bridgett and Inflammatory! Nice to know I'm not the only one.

I just wish I could go back and tell fifteen-year-old me, "DON'T LIGHT IT!!"

Anonymous said...

I suppose I'm one of those self-righteous non-smokers, but I do have sympathy for those who are trying to quit. It's an addiction, physical and emotional, so it's an uphill battle. I can't even stop biting my fingernails. So, I'm proud of you and I'm happy that you're succeeding. I can only imagine how difficult it is, and I'm glad that you are continuing to choose to do right by your body every single day.