Doctor, Doctor

I had to go to the dermatologist this morning for my yearly skin exam (that sounds creepy, doesn't it?) I have one mole that will have to be removed. This is nothing new; I've already had a ton of them taken off. This one is on my lower back, and it will be a royal pain trying to clean the stitches. But that's not until February, so let's worry about it then, shall we?
I have to go to the eye doctor tomorrow for an eye exam. It is getting harder and harder to read small print; I hope I don't need bifocals! I can't be that old, can I? I wear contact lenses during the day and glasses at night; do they even make bifocal contact lenses? Oh boy.

Cloud Chair Part 2

Here is the cloud chair before:




















Here is the cloud chair after:




















Pretty neat, huh?

I got a raise!

I got a raise yesterday! Several months ago, when Kevin was leaving for greener pastures, John gave Eric and J 10% raises because they would be shouldering more of the load. Yesterday, John told me to give Eric another 10% raise (I do the payroll). I literally gasped, my jaw literally dropped, and John turned around and left as fast as possible because he knew I was pissed off. The last raise I got, 5%, was a year and a half ago!
I almost got my coat and left, I was so upset. I tried to work, but I was literally shaking I was so mad, so I went outside to have a cigarette. John followed me out & lit up too, and I said, "Can I ask you a question?" He said "Of course", and I said, "Why do the guys keep getting these big raises and I don't? Is my work not up to par?" He said, "Of course you do great work, you know that. When's the last time you got a raise?" I said, "A year and a half ago." He said, "Didn't you get a raise the last time (meaning, I assume, when Eric and J got theirs)", and I said, "No". He said, "How much do you make an hour?" I told him, and he told me to raise it to X amount, which equates to an 11% raise. Yay! I just hate that I have to practically beg for my raises, when the guys get theirs handed to them.

Call me! Anytime!

It hurts when someone you care about says they'll call, and then doesn't. Texas was supposed to call me the last two Thursdays (after Survivor) in a row, and bailed both times. I guess she doesn't enjoy talking with me as much as I do her. So I'll write my blog instead.

The Crocodile Hunter

The "Crocodile Hunter", Steve Erwin, died a couple of weeks ago. Last night on TV they were showing clips from an interview his wife did with Barbara Walters. Two questions:
1. Why on earth would anyone want to bother this poor grieving woman just to get ratings?
2. Why on earth would she agree to be interviewed such a short time after her husband died? She was sobbing, having a hard time holding it together. Who told her this was a good idea? Did she think it was a good idea? I am sure that, at some point in the interview, she probably brought out some hoary old chestnut like, "Steve would have wanted me to do this interview", or, "it's to educate people about the dangers of stingrays". Oh, please.
It reminds me of the Don Henley song "Dirty Laundry" -
"Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set - we need dirty laundry"

Bathroom Ceiling

I painted my bathroom ceiling over the weekend. Yuck! I loathe to paint. My entire apartment needs a coat of paint, but I'd rather look at the dirty walls than have to paint them. But in my bathroom, the ceiling paint was starting to bubble from all the condensation, and big drops of cold water would form on the bubbles and then plop onto me while I was taking a shower. I couldn't put up with that! So I scraped the worst of the bubble-ceiling paint off, then repainted with exterior latex paint. Problem solved, right? Oh no no no, it's never that easy. Now the cold water drops are forming on the perfectly smooth ceiling and dropping down on me! I have no idea what to do next. I tried running the fan while in the shower, but all that did was freeze me to death, and the cold water was still dropping down on me. Sigh!

IQ as related to TV volume

One of the things I do at work is answer the phones, which have been ringing off the hook since I walked in the door this morning. The company I work for does business with other companies, government agencies, etc., and we also do residential work, so I take a lot of calls from "civilians", i.e., people at home. I have noticed that the louder the volume of the TV in the background, the less intelligent the caller seems to be. The other day someone called, and "The Young and the Restless" was playing so loud, I could barely hear the caller over the sound of Katherine and Jill debating the sale of Jabot. This morning a man called, and the game show in the background was so loud I had a hard time taking a message.
I don't know about you, but when I'm at home and about to make a call, I hit "mute" on the TV remote.

Home Improvement Part 2

So I went to Lowe's last night - I only needed a couple of things, but I didn't know where they would be in the store. I wandered around for a little bit, then went up to the customer service counter, where, Surprise! (1) There was no line; (2) There were actually employees behind the counter; (3) The employees were women; and, No Surprise, (4) They were very helpful and told me where I could find what I needed.
So I survived my trip to Lowe's.

Home Improvement

I have to stop at Lowe's after work tonight to pick up a couple things - I really dislike those big-box home improvement stores. I am a woman, and the salespeople totally ignore me, preferring to assist male customers instead of me. I am just as knowledgeable about this stuff I need to buy as the male customers are, and pisses me off to be ignored because I'm a woman. Being a blonde probably doesn't help.

Cloud Chair

After I finished the zebra, I wanted something else big to work on. I bought an old wooden dining room chair at the Sal Army, and painted it blue with white clouds. I put some lines of poetry from "High Flight" on it (Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth .....). It looks pretty cool. I'll post photos once I get some more film developed. I just don't know where to put it; my apartment is really small. Maybe I'll leave it out on the back porch for now. I'll have to have an "art yard sale" in the spring if I keep going at this rate! Anyway, it will be getting too cold to paint outside real shortly (I prefer to do the big stuff outside; it was a snot getting that zebra in the kitchen!), so I guess I'll go back to flat paintings for the winter. I took a 4 x 6 photo of some gladioli in my garden and had it blown up to 16 x 20 at Walmart - it came out really, really good and only cost $13.00!
I don't know how much longer I'll keep going on this "artistic" streak, but it's loads of fun for now!

To Catch A Predator

I watched Dateline NBC Friday night - they had another one of their "To Catch a Predator" shows, where they set up guys trying to meet underage girls on line and then confront them. These show are so depressing - can you believe that these sad-sack, fat-ass losers actually think that a young kid would sleep with them? It's so gross to think that there are actually people like that out there.

Jeopardy!

Ha ha ha ha ha! I got the answer to final jeopardy last night, and none of the contestants did!
Category: Word Origins
Answer: Appropriately, this word comes from the Greek words meaning "sharp" and "dull"
Question: What is "oxymoron"?

I got it! And none of the contestants did! Ha ha ha ha ha!

None for me, thanks

I am in my early forties and have never had children. It's not that I didn't have the chance; I was married, back in the day. It's just that I never had any maternal instinct whatsoever. I didn't like kids when I was a kid. When I met my now ex-husband, I let him know right up front that I did not want kids and he agreed & said he didn't want kids, either. After we married, however, he let me know that he wanted to start a family; I refused. That's not why our marriage broke up, though. And even if I met Prince Charming today, I still don't want kids. Kids to me are like snakes are to some people; slightly repulsive and nothing I would ever want to have.

Jokes

Did you hear about the dsylexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.

What did Buddha say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything".

Ha ha!

Walmart

So I had to stop at Walmart after work the other night. I really didn't want to, but I'd put it off so long I was down to the last squirt of toothpaste. I am really conflicted about Walmart; on the one hand, you can't beat their prices, and let's face it, anything you could ever possibly need is sold there. I bought an entire Tiramisu cake for, like, $7.00. Tiramisu is the best dessert on the planet; it's like crack, it's so addictive. On the other hand, Walmart is always crowded with really obnoxious stupid ugly fat people. Here's a great example:
My niece's friend went to Walmart a while back with her kids. There was a woman in the store with small children who was loudly cursing up a storm; lots of people noticed her and were not happy about their kids having to listen to that language. So my niece's friend asked her politely to tone it down, at which point the woman told her where to go. So my niece's friend, who is no shrinking violet, said, "Why don't you go back to the trailer park with the rest of the trash" and walked away. Granted, not very mature, but it must have been very satisfying.
So my niece's friend finishes her shopping, pays, and walks out of the store, where the woman is waiting for her! The woman makes some kind of comment like, "as a matter of fact, I am from a trailer park, but I'm not trash", and punches my niece's friend right in the face! Knocked her out cold, broke her nose, etc. While their kids stood and watched.
That's Walmart clientele for you.

TV Guide

Here's a confession for you - I'm so embarrassed.
1. I subscribe to TV Guide.
2. When it comes in the mail each week, I go through and highlight the programs I think I might want to watch. Weird, no? I just find it's easier. I do not like the new format, though. Mostly what I watch are reality shows (Survivor, Amazing Race), news magazine shows (Primetime, 20/20), and documentaries. No dramas or comedies. And who is that incredibly annoying guy on one of the news magazine shows (I can't remember which one) who talks in a sing-song, like a Dr. Seuss book? I can't watch when he is narrating - the voice drives me wild.

TIB

When I got home from work on Friday, there was a note in my mailbox from my sister The Insane Bitch (TIB). She had received a coupon for 25% off at Michael's and passed it on to me, knowing that I shopped there. She actually did a nice thing for me that she actually had to go out of her way to do! Weird. I called & thanked her & she was very nice. Weirder.
When I went up there the weekend before to pick Mom up for a walk, TIB & her husband D said that Mom had been giving them a hard time, being very rude to D. So I asked her about it and she basically denied saying anything rude, etc. D & I talked about it when Mom & I got back, and D said he was just glad that Mom wasn't mad at him about something. Sometimes I don't think Mom realizes how mean she can sound; it's so weird because before the Alzheimer's, she was the nicest, meekest person on the planet. Sarcasm does not become her. I asked her if she wanted to try going on anti-depressants and she said no. D & I discussed putting her on them anyway and just not telling her what they were. It's awful to have to do stuff like that to your own Mom. I wish she never got Alzheimer's. She is also obsessed with the idea that someone (TIB & D, their daughter, etc.) is going to take the cottage away from her. No matter how many times I tell her it isn't so (and it really isn't; nobody wants that cottage), she refuses to believe it. This whole thing is just so sad.

Oh Happy Monday

I was supposed to leave my door unlocked this morning so the plumber could get in (I know, I know, but it's easier than trying to get the plumber coordinated with the maintenance man who has the keys). So I left a note on my mirror last night, "Leave door unlocked" and left a note in my purse, "Leave door unlocked". Got up this morning, got ready to go, grabbed the note off the mirror, put it with the note in my purse, walked out the door, locked the door, and went to work. Got to work, realized what I had done, got back in the car, drove 20 minutes back home, unlocked the door, and drove back to work.
On the bright side, J at work brought in a huge bunch of flowers that he got from his landlord's wedding. I have two giant bouquets of hydrangea (my favorites) and pink, orange and red roses. So pretty

My Sister, Ditzy

I ran into my sister, Ditzy, at a yard sale yesterday. She said she had to quit her last job because the stress was just too much, due to her "fibro". I take it she means fibromyalgia? Last I knew, she had Chronic Fatigue Synfrome. And before that, it was Epstein-Barr (sp?) virus. The rest of the family knows it as "lazy". Let's face it, this woman is 50-something, and she always manages to pay her mortgage, feed her kids, shop at garage sales, etc., on very little income. Can you say "Sugar Daddy?"

Survivor

Watched the first episode of the new Survivor last night where teams are separated by race. It seemed to really reinforce stereotypes - the whites are dumb jerks, the Asians use "ancient chinese medicine" crap to heal a migraine, and the black guy is fat and lazy. My favorite part is when the fat black guy is trying to talk his way out of being voted out, and he says to one of the black women, "If you kick me out, you won't have no fire - I'm the only one who knows how to make fire!" and the black woman says, "You haven't made no fire yet!" which is true, he had tried but not succeeded. So he retorts, "But I will learn how to make fire, and then you'll miss me, cause you won't have no fire!" Classic!
I think next time, they should sort them into groups by IQ.

New rug

I put an area rug out on the back deck, and it makes the deck look much nicer. I just hope the rain & snow don't damage it (the deck is covered, but the sides are open). I got the rug for $35.00 at the Salvation Army, my favorite store of all time! Today is Wednesday, which is 50% off all clothes and shoes day! Whoo hoo! Not having enough money isn't all bad, because I probably never would have otherwise discovered the joy of thrift store shopping.

My Zebra

I took a kid's ride-on rocking horse and painted it to be a zebra. I think it looks way cool! Size - approximately 4 feet high x 6 feet long.










Now he lives in my garden.

Neighbors, Cont'd.

A girl named Kelly once moved in next door. Half of her hillbilly family promptly followed, into her one-bedroom apartment. One little girl proudly announced upon meeting me that she didn't have to go to school because she had head lice! They also had a dog (strictly prohibited), which they chained to a tree in the back yard just far enough from the stairs so that the dog could bark, growl and lunge at me, but not quite reach me to bite me, every time I went up or down the stairs. When yet another person joined the crowd, Kelly decided he could sleep in the (unfinished) attic, and put a kerosene heater up there to keep him warm (strictly prohibited). One night right before Christmas I was watching TV when I heard this awful crash and went into the hallway, where I discovered this guy's legs dangling from my ceiling! He had been poking around on my side of the attic (strictly prohibited) - and laughed when I started screaming at him. They kept a broken down ATV chained to the bottom of the stairs, and actually started building some sort of half-assed garage out front, directly in front of the downstairs neighbor's living room window.
Kelly just couldn't understand why she got kicked out.

What?! You can't move!

My neighbor Bill is moving at the end of next month. We live in a four unit apartment building, two up and two down, and Bill lives in the apartment next to mine on the second floor. He has been a super neighbor, never noisy, we traded cat-sitting duties, etc. I am terrified that he is moving, because God only knows who will move into his apartment. The current owners of the building are absentee landlords and the new building supervisor never returns my calls, and I am terrified that they will let trashy/noisy/yucky people move in. I love my building and I don't want to move, but I am not ready to have to deal with new neighbors! I have had some real losers for neighbors in the past - one even broke into my apartment to use my phone to call 1-800-sex numbers, and then threatened to kill me when I found out and called the police!
I hope my new neighbors are nice - knock on wood!

Our coat of arms

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

OK, I admit it, I have OCD. I went through a spell of it in junior high, and it came back several years ago. Here are some excellent passages from Growing Girls by Jeanne Marie Laskas:
"An excessive sense of responsibility, I read, is at the root of obsessive-compulsive diosorder." "Normal people sometimes need to double-check themselves. OCD people have to quintuple-check, over and over again. An excessive sense of responsibility is said to be at the root of this. And what it comes down to is this: you think you're more important than you are. You think your actions matter more than they actually do. Despite what you believe, you are just not that critical to keeping the earth spinning on its axis".
This is brilliant! This is exactly my problem! My brain tells me that if I don't check something a certain number of times, something bad will happen. Like if I don't check the stove a certain number of times, my car will break down that day. If I don't touch that manila folder an even number of times, my summer will suck. I try to tell myself that my brain is in me, that I control my brain, but still I do this stuff. Say and learn: I do not control the universe.

I Like to Smoke

I smoke cigarettes. And I like it. And I'm not going to quit anytime soon. So take that, you sanctimonious pricks who act like I'm lighting up a crack pipe every time I smoke a cigarette. Fuck all of you! My sister The Insane Bitch (TIB) chain smoked for, like forty years, then quit, and now she's one of those assholes who has a heart attack if anybody lights up within a 100 yard vicinity of her. Keep in mind that when she smoked, she lit up in front of non-smokers all the time, including her husband who does not smoke, and my mother, who lives with her.
I like to smoke. And you know what? Nobody is going to miss me when I die, we all die of something sooner or later, and I LIKE TO SMOKE.
Politically incorrect? You betcha!

They shorted my pills

OK, so I am on Lamisil for three months. You know, those disgusting TV commercials where bugs dig under toenails? That's Lamisil. Be aware that if you have no prescription coverage, this medicine will set you back between $900.00 and $1,400.00 for a three month supply, which is the length of treatment. (No, I'm not rich, I do have insurance, albeit crappy insurance. My share is coming to around $220.00).
OK, so I took my pill last night, looked in the bottle, and realized there were fewer pills left than there should be. When I counted, I discovered that I was seven pills short. I called the pharmacy and they told me to bring the bottle in. I was afraid I might get some sort of fight, I mean, these things are like $12.00 a pill, and I was short seven of them. But I went in, the pharmacist took the bottle, plopped seven more Lamisil pills in it, and handed it back. I'm really glad, but it made me a little uneasy - I mean, don't they even have to check the computer or something? Don't they keep records of how much of each pill they dish out?
But I'm glad I got the pills.

Labor Day Weekend

So this is Labor Day weekend, and it's supposed to rain all day tomorrow. Heavy rain. High winds. Sigh.
I haven't had a date in five (5) years. I am good looking, single, no kids, friendly. No dates in five years. Of course, I don't exactly "put myself out there". I don't like bars because I like to drink and I don't want to drive home drunk. Also, the idea of walking into a bar alone is not pleasant to me. All my friends moved elsewhere for jobs - does anybody else have that problem? and now it's just me holding down the home front (sniff). How do you make new friends when you're not a kid anymore (I am in my early forties but still clean up real well). There are singles clubs around, but I heard they are mostly meat markets. How do I make girl friends, let alone guy friends? Any ideas?
So I do lots of painting, art projects, etc. Right now I have an old kid's rocking horse on springs that I bought at a garage sale & am turning into a zebra. It currently looks more like a referee, but I hope it'll look cool when I'm done. I might leave it on the springs and put it in the garden, or I might take it off the springs and keep it inside or on the back deck. Not sure yet.
Hope it doesn't rain all day tomorrow.
I am debating whether to go after work & buy a pair of sandals I have been admiring. Was $30.00, then $15.00, now $9.97. Really, really cute but I don't need another pair of sandals, and I really need to stop spending money. I keep telling myself to create, not consume, but it's hard. And $10.00 is a lot for one pair of sandals - I usually buy mine at the thrift store for a couple of bucks. Actually, all my clothes (almost) come from the thrift store.