Preface: Let me just say RIGHT NOW that I went to Home Depot on Sunday and bought a new smoke alarm. Okay. And now that I think about, I think I'll go back and buy another one.
So! Like a good little doobee, on Saturday I was changing out the batteries on my carbon monoxide detectors and the smoke alarm. I changed the battery in the smoke alarm and pressed the test button, bracing myself for the ear-piercing, instant-headache-producing shriek, and instead what I got was this:
meeeeeeeeeeep ee ee meeeeeeeeeep
Whaaaa? That ain't right! I tried another battery, and still all I got was a pathetic little mewl. I never knew smoke alarms had a "crying kitten" mode.
Seriously, I thought when a smoke alarm was dying, it was supposed to beep, like, every fifteen seconds, to let you know it's on the way out. I had NO IDEA a smoke alarm could just give up the ghost without notifying you.
Whenever I read an article about a house fire where there wasn't any smoke alarm, or the batteries had been taken out of the smoke alarm, or .... waaaaaait a minute. I think I remember reading a couple of times about house fires where the smoke alarm was "non-functioning."
IS THIS WHAT THEY MEANT? When the smoke alarm gives out a little "meep" instead of a brain-damaging scream?
Because I always read those articles and go, "What idiots!" about the homeowners. Who on earth is TOO F*CKING STUPID to have a working smoke alarm?
Evidently, I am.