Thursday, June 17, 2010

You can't make this shit up

Headline from today's local newpaper:

Woman kept dead husband, sister in home

Ah, the local newspaper, providing blog material since ...... forever.

Here we go:

"The mummified remains of people found in a 91-year-old Wyalusing woman’s home are believed to be her late husband and sister.

According to court documents filed in Pennsylvania, two workers from the Area Agency on Aging contacted state police to report that Jean Stevens’ home contained the body of her husband, Jimmy, and sister, June.

Jean Stevens showed the workers the body of her sister and told them her husband’s body was rolled up in a rug on the premises, according to the document.

The agency workers told state police that “Mrs. Stevens is in control of her mental faculties (other than her acts of keeping the bodies in her home).”

Jean Stevens told the workers that she received help to disinter her husband’s body from an unnamed cemetery years ago. She said she retrieved her sister’s body from its grave shortly after burial in October 2009.

A press conference is slated for 1 p.m. today at the Bradford County Children’s Home in Towanda.

State police in Towanda said the remains of two people were found at a house on Old Stagecoach Road at about 3 p.m. Tuesday following the execution of a search warrant.
District Attorney Dan Barrett said Wednesday his office is not involved in a criminal homicide investigation. He declined to answer other questions."

Best (or worst, depending on your opinion) line? : "She said she retrieved her sister's body from its grave shortly after burial in October 2009."

Holy shit, you guys, I wanna meet this lady.

Or, you know, not.


Bridgett said...

I love this:

"Mrs. Stevens is in control of her mental faculties (other than her acts of keeping the bodies in her home).”

That's like saying that Lizzie Borden was completely sane except for that little incident with the axe.

I it that she just couldn't stand the thought of them underground? Or maybe she thought that the resurrecting power of Christ was strong enough to wake the dead but not strong enough to get all the dirt off? Or what, exactly?

And...well...she. had. help. Someone else helped her with her crazy. Twice.


rockygrace said...

Haha, Bridgett, yeah, it's like, "Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?"

Oh, and it keeps getting better. The local TV station has an interview with one of the neighbors, and he's all, "Well, hell, my cousin did some work in there a few years ago and he SAW the body of the husband on the couch. Covered up with a sheet, he was." And ANOTHER neighbor is all, "We heard the rumors that she had bodies in the garage, but we just thought they were rumors!"

It clarifies things a little if you know that Wyalusing is in the sticks.

Anonymous said...

I think I hear William Faulkner calling...

Heather said...

Holy crap!! I wonder who helped her and managed to keep their moths shut for so many years? AND of course there is the WHY?

Hubby wants me to put his ashes in a container and set him up on a shelf. I'm like...I'm not keeping your dead ass!!

Fish Food said...

I'm assuming they were past the really smelly stage?

rockygrace said...

Kate, yeah, William Faulkner or maybe Stephen King ....

Heather, I have the ashes of my dead cat in a container in the living room ... I do NOT, however, have the dead cat itself.

And Fish, the local paper is describing them as "mummified", I guess from the embalming process, but still ....

Oh! And they had to open up the graves yesterday, I guess to verify that the bodies were indeed her relatives and not, like, random strangers ....

rockygrace said...

and it just keeps getting stranger ...

according to this morning's paper, it wasn't just her sister .... it was her TWIN sister .... and they married brothers.

*cue twilight zone music*

I wonder if they've checked the grave of the other brother. Just in case.