Tuesday, June 29, 2010

had a dream

Okay, so I had this dream ....

I know. I KNOW. I'll keep this really brief, I PROMISE.

Anyway, I had a dream last night that I bought a pack of cigarettes.

(For those of you who may be new here, I quit smoking last year after smoking a pack-and-a-half a day for thirty years.)

So, I dreamt I bought a pack of cigarettes, except it was more like a nightmare. In the dream, I was all, like, nooooooo! Don't doooooo it! But I went to the store, and I bought the cigarettes, and I took the cellophane off, and I was peeling back the foil, and the whole thing was in slow motion, the way dreams are, and I was SO DEPRESSED that I was going to start smoking again. I was all, like, you've worked so hard to quit, and now you're going to just throw it all away?! DON'T DOOOOOO IT.

And looking back now, it was really kind of funny that I was going through all this turmoil in my dream over smoking a cigarette. I mean, it's not like somebody was forcing me to smoke it; it's like I was having a little existential meltdown over the idea of smoking again.

Whew. Glad it was just a dream. And I mean, come on, I'm SURE this has something to do with my niece and her whole situation. But it's weird that it's like my subconscious wants me to start up again, and the conscious me is all, noooooooooo! Hell, at least I'm refusing.



Oh, and I went to visit my niece last night. She's doing better, and is expecting to be released either today or tomorrow. I'm not really sure if she has a plan for her quit, but I guess all I can realistically do is be there for her if she needs me. Who knows - maybe she'll surprise us all.

1 comment:

Heather said...

Well at least you didn't dream of smoking it and enjoying it. Then I would be worried, but I'm not! You have strong will awake and asleep!

I wish I had that dream...