.... to a niece who drank herself into the hospital this weekend?
Yeah. I got nothin'.
Oh, I mean, there's plenty that I could say, but I doubt it would do any good. I swear to God, my little community has got to have the highest rate of alcohol consumption in the entire state. This is a neighborhood of people who think it's perfectly normal to get up in the morning, start drinking, drink until they pass out, and then wake up and start drinking again. I've never seen anything like it.
And it doesn't help that the niece's live-in boyfriend is also a heavy drinker. He's been known to literally drink himself into seizures. He quit for a couple of days after that. A couple of days.
And now niece is in the hospital with pancreatitis, which the doctors have informed her will kill her within five to ten years if she doesn't stop drinking. She's only thirty-four.
You know what she asked me?
"I wonder if I can still drink O'Douls?"
Probably not, niece. Probably not.