Okay, so you guys know the Skymall catalog? The one that's always in the seatback ahead of you on the plane? The one that you grab a couple of hours into the flight, when you're insanely bored, and you're idly flipping through it, and all of a sudden you're, like, "Holy shit! I really need one of those!" and "Look at that - it's the coolest thing ever!" and pretty soon you're dog-earing pages and shoving the catalog into your purse as you get off the plane, and then you go do whatever you were on a plane for to begin with, and you forget all about the Skymall catalog, and you find it again like five weeks later when you're FINALLY unpacking your carryon after you've already been back home for a MONTH and .....
Okay. So we're talking about the Skymall catalog, which is full of cool things that you reallyreally need when you're insanely bored at thirty thousand feet.
Allow me to introduce you to the exact opposite of the Skymall catalog:
Dudes. Duuuuuuudes. Click on that link. Go ahead. I dare ya. Here, I'll give it to you again: CollectionsEtc.
hahahahahaha so THAT'S where Grandma buys all that shit.
What's making it even funnier is that I'm trying to paste some of the eye-searing images from that catalog onto here, and a pop-up comes up informing me that the images are COPYRIGHTED by CollectionsEtc. and unauthorized use is STRICTLY PROHIBITED and ohmyGod it's like they KNEW somebody was going to use those pics to make fun of them and so they paid some poor summer intern schmuck to program the site, photo by photo, so that nobody could take their images and say HAHA LOOK AT THIS SHIT and ...
oh. It worked.
Know what's even funnier? I was trying to reason why they would send this catalog of horrible, polyresin schlock to ME in particular and then I figured out that it was probably because of that order I placed with Oriental Trading for the pink flamingo lawn ornaments and ...
ooops. Shutting up now.