Thursday, June 13, 2013
It's sour milk, is what it is
So! In my ongoing battle to beat back c-diff, I started taking probiotics. "Probiotics" is one of those annoying f*cking healthy-living Jamie Lee Curtis words to me, but hell, any port in a storm.
I bought some probiotic pills ("Culturelle" is the brand name, which sounds like some kind of douche or something), back when I first started the Flagyl. And then a friend recommended something called Kefir.
"What the hell is Kefir?," I asked, which is why I have so many friends.
"It's like ... liquid yogurt!," she said. "Like a smoothie! And it's got ninety billion active cultures per serving! You should try it!"
Because I evidently cannot see a practical joke when it's staring me right in the damn face, I bought some Kefir. Shook it up, poured a big ol' glass, took a slug, and
it's sour milk. IT TASTES JUST LIKE SOUR F*CKING MILK.
Holy Mary Mother of CHRIST, I'm sick as a damn dog, my stomach is rolling, and my friends are telling me to drink SOUR MILK.
well, they *were* my friends. Ha.
And plus, every time I see the word "Kefir", all I can think of is "Kieffer", Janelle's old boyfriend on Teen Mom, and how Janelle's mom was always whining to Janelle about "Keeeeeeeeeefer, your no-good booooooyfriend" (she was totally right).
But hell, at least that makes me laugh. Unlike spending three-forty-nine on thirty-two ounces of spoiled milk.
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7 comments:
Yea, I take it in the pill form, acidopha . . something, cheap and generic. The China docs gave it to me in prescriptions. They also gave me "sachets" which are a horror story because the have no Gatorade or Pedialyte there.
Someone convinced me drinking coconut water would cure all my ill and I almost barfed that right up it tasted so damn bad. To each his own.
I actually make my own kefir with 'kefir grains'.. and yes, it is basically soured milk, but than again so is yogurt.. You can also make coconut milk kefir which is pretty darn tasty..
I also make "water kefir" with a different type of "kefir grain" and it isn't half bad.. I mean it isn't soda pop or juice.. but I like it.
And any time you start strong probiotics and aren't used to them you are prime for a reaction.. what you experienced isn't uncommon.
This doesn't explain why, in Russia and Eastern Europe, they are deliberately choosing to drink it. Maybe there is a secret.
fmcetc, I'm sticking with the pills from now on.
Tails, I gotta tell ya, I eat yogurt everyday. I know yogurt. And kefir, Madame, is NO YOGURT. :)
and Ginny, I guess if you're a Mongolian yak herder, Kefir might taste good to you. Bleccccch.
I'll bet they sell a lot of this crap (sorry, Tails) at the Ithaca Farmer's Market. Got-dam hippies'll drink anything.
And oh lord Tails, I am sorry, but from now on if I want to make myself upset I'll think of "coconut milk kefir". HEAVE.
Poor Tails is all, like, "What? What'd I say?"
Feel free to poke fun at my donut consumption or poor wardrobe choices, Tails. :)
Here in Finland (not considered part of Eastern Europe :) kefir is just a part of your every day "milk products" -- some like it, some don't. I guess it's something that, if you are used to having around since childhood, and you know it's healthy and good for you, it's just...normal :)
I usually have quark as my source of protein, mixed with strawberries for example...but I rarely eat/drink kefir-products. If I had ongoing problems with my stomach, I would certainly try whether kefir would help.
Okay, Zella, I'll bite ... what is quark?
Quark is similar to cottage cheese, but made slightly differently. Sort of halfway between cottage cheese and ricotta.
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