Okay, first off, scroll down, because yesterday I took on organized religion. Just ... because.
Now! World War III is about to go down in my yard.
Because the deer are eating my about-to-bloom hibiscuses. (Hibisci?)
This. Will. Not. Stand.
I KNOW there's been some talk lately about the deer coming to tell me something, and I'm totally down with that, BUT THEY CANNOT EAT MY HIBISCUSES WHILE THEY'RE HERE.
I put up with the deer this spring, when they ate half my damn (deer-resistant) (my ass) daylilies down to the ground. I put up with their gigantic poop piles in my backyard.
But they cannot have the hibiscuses.
I worked HARD to carve that hibiscus garden out of the sloping side yard last year. I CELEBRATED when the plants popped out of the ground this spring. I MULCHED and I WATERED and I delighted when the first buds started to appear.
The first buds. WHICH THE DEER ARE NOW EATING.
So I'm arming myself with knowledge. I've looked up deer-repellent spray recipes, and I've learned that hanging aluminum pie pans in the garden, while cultivating the hillbilly look, may also help keep the deer away. I've heard the whole Irish-Spring theory.* I will sit out there with a f*cking FLAMETHROWER if I have to, to keep the deer away from those hibiscuses.
You're crossed the line, deer. You've been warned. It is ON.
*am I the only one old enough here to remember the old "Manly, yes! But *I* like it, too!" commercials?