It's all happening in my neighborhood

So, the other night I was washing dishes, when I started hearing this "whoooosh, whoooooosh" noise that sounded like it was coming from outside, from out of the sky, and I was all, "oh, great, I KNEW I shouldn't have watched Independence Day the other night", and then I saw my neighbor L. running though my backyard, pointing at the sky and yelling for me, and I was, "Oh, CRAP, it really IS Independence Day", except it was just a hot-air balloon, which landed in the park next door.



And then LAST night, I'm out in the front garden, digging a hole for some daisies, when I heard the screeeeeeeeech of metal on metal, and my neighbor L. yelling, "Oh my God! What did I hit? What did I hit?!"

Well, what she hit was the fire hydrant at the end of her driveway. I ran over to make sure she was alright, and she got out of the car, crying and yelling, "I can't believe I did it AGAIN!"

She was a school bus driver for over thirty years. That's all I'm gonna say about THAT.

And! In other, almost unbelievable news, I messed up ANOTHER toe last night. Motherf*cker. On the opposite foot this time. You know what? I think it's time to start wearing shoes. ALL THE TIME.