Some of you who have been here for a while may recall that I have a love-hate relationship with Jillian Michaels. Specifically, with her Thirty-Day-Shred workout. Namely, that every time I start exercising to that DVD with any regularity, I get hurt.
I KNOW that after the last time I injured myself, I said that I was going to take that damn DVD out in the yard and set it on fire.
I didn't do it.
Because I finally figured out what the problem was. I cannot work out every day. I just CAN'T. My almost-fifty-year-old body will not allow it.
So! I started working out every other day. Well ... almost every other day. How does twice a week sound? Because that's more, well ... honest. Ha.
And then? A new problem arose. I started getting bored.
It wasn't that the workouts were too easy. Shit, I STILL can't do anything in plank position for more that about two reps without collapsing like a beached whale. It was just that after hearing Jillian chirp, "Chop-chop, girls! Chop-chop!" for the billionth time, I was tired of it.
So! I was at Crapmart the other day, perusing the workout DVDs, and what did I see? "Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30"! With four separate workouts. I figured that with three workouts on the 30-Day-Shred DVD and FOUR on this DVD, I had plenty to keep it varied.
Except ... SHE'S STILL LYING ABOUT THE TIME. On the 30-Day-Shred, they are supposed to be 20-minute workouts. They're 27. On Ripped in 30, they're supposed to be 30-minute workouts. The first one, which is the only one I've gotten to so far, is 36-and-change. And don't even give me that bullshit about warmup and cooldown, Jillian. TWENTY MINUTES IS SUPPOSED TO BE TWENTY MINUTES. Sheesh.
Hey, this shit matters when you're jumping-jacking and grunting and failing the plank pose and hoping that your neighbors can't see through your curtains. Those extra minutes are a SNOT.
But! I am persevering. Because I am insane. And when I finally get those six-pack abs (HAAAAAAAAAA), I'll let you know.
Oh! And if anybody knows the secret to the plank pose, please let me know. Because I suck pretty bad at it.