Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Okay, let's talk about Charlie Sheen

Come on, you know you want to. Plus, it's not like you can turn on a TV these days without seeing him doing some batshit crazy rant on some talk show or other.

First off, I have never watched "Two and a Half Men", so I have no idea if it's a good show or not.

Second, what Charlie Sheen is doing in his personal life, at least until recently, was what every man in America wants to be doing. Porn stars and blow? Shit, if I was a guy, that's what I'd want to be doing. Well, except for the whole STDs-and-holes-in-your-nose-and-it's-illegal thing, that is. I mean, come on, there a LOT of guys out there who want to BE Charlie Sheen.

Now, on to the recent ranting. Is he doing it on purpose? Is it a big joke? Is it performance art?

Because if not, I'm pretty sure he's either (still) higher than a kite, or he's mentally ill.

And in either of THOSE cases, I'm not really sure all these talk-show hosts should be crawling all over each other trying to get him on their shows.

But if it IS a big joke, maybe the talk-show hosts are in on it? Maybe Charlie, like, takes them aside in the green room and says, "Hey, look, I'm about to get all batshit crazy and anti-Semitic up in here. Just roll with it, okay?"

Oh! But what's really cracking me up is all these "professionals", like Dr. Drew Pinsky, which, come on, THERE'S a big fat joke right there, anyway, all these professionals going, "Oh, we're so CONCERNED. He's OBVIOUSLY bipolar and he's in a manic phase right now and if he doesn't get help right now he won't last much longer and blahblahblah ...."

"Won't last much longer"? WTF? For one thing, okay, they're obviously not considering that the whole thing might be some big bizarre put-on, and, b, this dude has been acting crazy for YEARS. Unless he, like, ODs or his heart explodes or a hooker shoots him or something, I'm pretty sure he *can* last longer. Do you know any addicts? No? Well, let me tell you, they've got the constitutions of f*cking OXEN. You could run one over with a TRAIN and they wouldn't die.

Personally, I don't think he's at death's door. Sadly, I also don't think it's an act. I think he's probably mentally ill and coked out of his mind, and those bimbos who are partying with him in Jamaica or wherever ought to be taken aside and SHAKEN.

So! What do you think?

You know what? I think he's gonna get cleaned up and appear on next season's Dancing with the Stars. Because ALL washed-up famous people end up on that show sooner or later, don't they?


Logical Libby said...

Charlie said he will be fine because overdosing is for amateurs. I say "rant on."

rockygrace said...

"Overdosing is for amateurs"? Oh, man. For his sake, I hope it's true.