Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Crazy? Or Sane?

First of all, sorry* about those baby's first alcohol photos. Evidently you guys sided with the half of my family that voted "horrible" and not "hilarious". Whoops.

Here is today's question, prefaced with a little backstory.

I do not do much "seasonal" decorating, except for Christmas, and I haven't even started with the Christmas crap yet, other than almost killing myself getting the boxes out of the attic. Somebody should have rethought those ten-foot pull-down attic stairs, is all I'm sayin'. Oh, and they should have rethought installing a furnace three times the size necessary for the house. Which I found out on Thanksgiving eve at seven p.m., when the damn furnace croaked. Thanks, previous owner!

Ahem. Anyhow, I don't do a lot of "autumn" decorating. I've got a bunch of Indian corn that I hang on the door every year, and some godawful fake fall leaves that I drape on the porch rail, and a corny cardboard sign with pilgrims on it that says "Happy Thanksgiving", and that's about it. You know those scarecrow-things, those ones that are, like, four feet tall, with stakes on the bottom so you can stick 'em in the ground, those ones that they sell at the Dollar General?

Yeah, I don't have any of those, because I think they're frankly a little odd. Like sticking giant dolls in your yard or something.** But yesterday I had to run to the grocery store at lunchtime, and evidently this store really, really wanted to get rid of their remaining stock of scarecrows-on-a-stick, because they had them piled up by the front door on sale for seventy cents each.

And I was like, "Holy shit! Seventy cents each! I should buy some!" And then I was like, "But I don't even like those scarecrows! They're creepy!" and then I was all, "but they're SEVENTY CENTS EACH! I could give them to my neighbor!***"

I did not buy any scarecrows-on-sticks. And by the time I came back out of the store, someone with a scarecrow fetish had scarfed up all the stock.

So here's my question: Would you have bought the seventy-cent scarecrows, had you been me? You make the call!

*yeah, not really.

**no, not "or something". It is exactly like sticking giant dolls in your yard.

***my darling neighbor, whom I love, who decorates extensively for every holiday.


Bridgett said...

I would have bought them and then sneakily went out and decorated random yards in the neighborhood. Let 'em wonder (evil laugh...)

inflammatory writ said...

I thought the baby alcohol pictures were HILARIOUS.

I would have bought them. And then thrown them out when I realized they were hideous!

Rob said...

Creepy yard scarecrows = Creepy clowns in my book. They could have been a penny each and I wouldn't have bought them. Sorry I didn't comment on the baby pictures. I was too busy drinking box wine and highballs. You could have put me in the "like" column.

rockygrace said...

Okay, so we're all agreed on the photos (good) and the scarecrows (bad).

Bridgett, you're a genius. An EVIL genius.

And what's up with my grandnephew's hair, anyway? It's not red, it's frickin' ORANGE.