Why I don't watch Y&R anymore

"Daily update for Tuesday, September 1, 2009:

Mac and Lily commiserate about their happily-ever-after not being everything they thought it would be. Later, Mac gives Lily a lot to think about where Cane is concerned.

Jeff and Gloria take Patty to the Abbott cabin and Patty immediately assumes that Jack is meeting them there to renew their vows. Jeff takes a photo of Patty to send in for the reward money. Later, Gloria and Jeff stand off over whom to term Patty over to: Victor or Jack. Meanwhile, Jack tells Billy about Victor's involvement with Patty and that they need to find Patty before Victor does in order to bring him down.

Still in lockdown, Nick is adamant about telling Phyllis about the baby before she leaves on her trip to Switzerland. Meanwhile, Phyllis brings Summer by to see Victor to say goodbye and fishes for a clue towards Victor's involvement with Patty Williams. Later, Sharon tells Nick that she was happier when he didn't know the truth because she is tired of all the drama.

Victor takes the defensive with Phyllis and swears that he had nothing to do with bringing Patty back to Genoa City, while Adam listens from the shadows. Meanwhile, Nick finally realizes Sharon's true intentions in lying about the baby and is hit with the enormity of what she did for him.

Billy admits to Jack that he had second thoughts about the divorce but he has moved past them but Jack isn't so sure. Meanwhile, Mac tells Lily that Billy's second thoughts may have changed everything between them. Later, Jack tells Billy that he needs to figure what he feels for Chloe before he commits to Mac completely.

Phyllis and Noah discuss Sharon and Nick being in lockdown and Phyllis admits that although she trusts Nick again she is still wary of the two being locked up together for a night. Later, Sharon tells Nick that needs to be left in the mental hospital in order to find a way to stand on her own two feet for the sake of her children. Nick leaves to catch Phyllis but promises Sharon she is no longer alone.

Jeff and Gloria decide to flip to see whom they give Patty to and Jeff wins but his phone has no signal. He decides to drive down the road in order to call Jack. Meanwhile, Jack stops by the hospital to check on Sharon and tell her that Mary Jane is in fact Patty and Sharon is forced to tell him that Nick knows about the baby. Later, Jeff finds service but her account is suspended before he can make a call. Meanwhile, Patty is furious when she realizes she has been tricked. Mac tells Billy that he needs time alone to figure out what he wants, whether he wants it or not. Meanwhile, Cane panics when he realizes that Lily has a fever.

Phyllis and Summer wait at the airport terminal for Nick, realizing that he may not make it in time for their flight.

Paul confronts Victor about bringing Patty back to Genoa City."

- Synopsis from the Y & R website.


Let's face it, War and Peace had a less convoluted plot. And the above recap is for one day of Y&R. And yet, amazingly, you can watch Y&R for years (take it from me) and nothing ever really happens. I shit you not; a fistfight between two characters can last, like, weeks on Y&R.

And rest assured, Katherine Chancellor is still alive and well. Or so I'm told.