Not really, but it sure looked like I did.
I went to the local nature preserve yesterday, planning on taking a nice, long walk. When I got there, I decided to check out the creek that runs through an adjacent town park before I hit the preserve. I checked out the creek, decided to cross the creek to access a trail on the other side, started stepping on stones in the creek to get across, and .........
God. dammit. Those were some slippery stones.
So now I'm in the creek, one boot full of water, and my butt firmly emplanted in the muddy clay bank. At some point I realized that I wasn't getting any drier sitting in the water, and managed to haul myself out. Now I have a choice to make. I can drive back home, change clothes, and drive back, losing valuable walking time, or I can say screw it and do the walk anyway, knowing that anybody who gets a rear view is going to think I pooped my pants.
I decided to walk anyway and chose some lesser-traveled trails, hoping to come across fewer people that way.
Ha! Everybody and their mother was at the preserve yesterday, including ......... wait for it ........ twenty-nine members of the local hiking club. Wheeee!
In the end (*heh*), I think only three people actually got a look at the damage, and I had a nice long philosophical conversation with myself about self-image. ("Who cares what other people think?" "But they think I pooped my pants!")
Next time, I think I'll just go home and change.
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2 comments:
Oops I crapped my pants--nice reference (The Man Show? SNL? Now I can't remember).
Think of it this way: If you really had pooped your pants, would you have continued walking? Most people wouldn't walk around with feces in their pants, so most people probably wouldn't assume that's what it was.
I can't remember if it was SNL or Mad TV, but it cracked me up.
You're right: I'm guessing that most (hopefully, ALL) people who poop themselves would go home and change. And I guess if I saw someone who showed evidence of pants-crapping, I'd look at the total package (clothing, demeanor, etc.) before passing judgement.
Then again, maybe not.
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