I got married in 1984, two weeks before I turned twenty-two.
(Go ahead ......... do the math. I'll wait. La la la la la ............ All done? Yes, I am officially that old.)
I left my husband in 1989. I'm not going to go into details; I packed my stuff and left. I think that the last time I saw him was maybe ...... 1990? I'm not sure; I don't remember.
I did not ask for alimony; hell, I'm lucky that he didn't ask for alimony from me. (I made more money than he did, which is almost laughable, considering the piddly amount I was making at the time.) As a matter of fact, now that I think about it, we never even officially divorced until 2000, due mainly to the fact that he refused to pony up his half of the divorce fee, which he had agreed to when I left. So, in 2000, eleven years after I left him, I finally went ahead and paid for the divorce.
ANYWAY, when I married him, I took his last name. And after I left him, people kept asking me if I was going to take back my maiden name. And I would always say, "I don't know", because really, I didn't care very much either way. My maiden name was a very common one; my married name was a very common one.
But lo these many years later, people STILL sometimes ask me if I'm going to take back my maiden name. And I'm kind of like, why bother? I've had my married name now longer than I had my maiden name. What's the dif? Who cares?
But I've gotta ask, are you SUPPOSED to take back your maiden name when you divorce? I mean, I always thought it was optional, but I didn't think it was a necessity. But some people seem to think it ....... well ...... odd that I still use my married name.
Oh well. It's no odder than lots of other stuff I do on a daily basis, I guess. Heh.
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5 comments:
My mom didn't take her married name back, and she and my dad split up in the 80s. When I split with my ex, I kept his name (I was married at 18, I'd had that name my whole adult life), but I took hubby's name when I remarried. Of course. It would have been insulting if I'd kept my ex's name, heh.
You didn't have kids and if you did, it would make sense to keep his name but since you didn't may be why people keep asking. My mom didn't when she got divorced (4 kids), but finally did when we were all grown. I was thrilled to be rid of it when I got married. I never liked it and dear old dad did a not of not-so-nice things, so I didn't want his name. If I hadn't gotten married, I would have taken my mom's maiden name. Anyway, it's your choice and not relevant if you don't mind keeping his, right?
3carnations, I can see how new hubs would have been a little .... perturbed if you kept the ex's name!
And kerri, yeah, it's definitely my choice - just seems kinda weird that people keep asking me about it.
Most of my divorced friends have kept their married names...I have no idea WHY, really, since it never occurred to me that I should be asking. Silly me, thinking it was their business and all. :)
I'm with lizgwig - thinking that it's your own business and all that! What a fool!
I reckon you do what you like, whatever makes YOU comfortable and everyone else takes a flying jump.
Yup.
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