Tuesday, December 18, 2012
This list is taped under a light switch in my kitchen. It's Little Girl's list from the summer before last; the summer of 2011. I can't quite bring myself to take it down.
After The Runt died in April of 2011, Little Girl mourned. And then she tested positive for a bum heart, the same thing that The Runt succumbed to. And she went on heart meds. And she kept right on hunting; she always loved to hunt. I think I started the tally to remind myself that while I was trying to prepare myself for the possible loss of her, she was still very much alive. And hunting. And not concerned one whit about her stupid ol' bum heart.
And she lived until November of 2011. Over a year ago now. You can see how many conquests she had between May 16, when I started the list, and November. And those were only the ones she brought to me! I still think of her; maybe that's why I can't take the list down. I still think of her, and she still matters. As The Runt matters, and Rocky, and Ghost and Spooky and Elbows and all of the other cats I've had over the years. They still matter.
So sometimes when I get down, when I start to worry about how I'm not making a real difference in the world, when I start to fret over how I'm not making my mark, I try to remind myself that we all leave our marks. It might be a tally taped to a light switch, or it might be fond memories thought by someone we ourselves only thought of briefly, but we all were here. We all left marks.
And we all matter.