The doctor just called. The results of the bloodwork I had done last week are in.
I'm in menopause.
Um ... hooray? Boo-hoo?
Not sure what I'm supposed to feel, here.
Does this mean I have to starting wearing red hats and purple clothes? Because those are my two least favorite colors.
Do I need to get more cats? Because my house is pretty full right now.
Am I supposed to throw a party? Like those awful parties some weird people throw when their daughters begin menstruating? Because that sh*t ain't happening. This is no one's business but mine. (and yours. ha.)
F*ck, I can't even throw my condom stash away - still gotta protect against disease, doncha know. Although honestly, those condoms have been gathering dust for quite some time.
I dunno. Maybe I'll go shopping. That sounds like a good idea.
Shopping for support hose and Werther's candies. SH*T.
I am old. My body says so.
I don't FEEL old. So I think I'll file this little tidbit away, as informative but not necessarily relevant.
There. NOW I feel better.