Happy birthday, Happy birthday ...
Happy birthday to me!
Yep. Here it is. The big 5-0.
I guess I'm officially old now.
I will take this as permission to now yell at the neighborhood kids to get off my lawn.
Oh, wait, I was already doing that ...
Hmmm. Maybe this means I have to start watching "Murder, She Wrote"? Wait, I think that went off the air ... Is Angela Lansbury even still alive?
Am I supposed to start eating prunes now? Eating dinner at four o'clock? Wearing sweatshirts that say, "Ask me about my grandkids"? I DON'T KNOW.
I guess somebody forgot to give me the manual - What the hell DO old people do, anyway?
Besides bitch at the neighborhood kids, that is. I'm already QUITE good at that.
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11 comments:
Naw, you can wait to eat dinner until 5 or 6 at the latest. According to my gramma you don't really get any breaks until you are 80, then you don't have to be nice anymore.
And you get to have more specialized medical test. The really fun ones.
I'll pass on the tests, fmcetc. Thanks, anyways.
And in other news, I just found out that two of my fosters are being adopted this weekend!
I found out on facebook. Now I know how people who find out they've been dumped by seeing it on facebook feel.
And according to my email, people are leaving me all kinds of birthday wishes on my timeline, and I can't figure out how to view them.
Yep, I'm OLD. I DON'T UNDERSTAND FACEBOOK. Ha.
Happy Birthday Kiddo!
Things you can do now:
- Lust after younger men/women/cars. Somehow, younger men hear 50 and think, "Oooo, she can't get pregnant now!" and you become a possibility again. Idiots.
- Throw ideas of "current" and "fashion" out the window. You can wear any dang thing you want.
- You are allowed to start sentences with, "In my day".
- You can stand on street corners without police molesting you. Unless they are young policemen.
- Clerks at home depot are now allowed to flirt with you.
You still can't get the senior discounts, though.
You will find yourself wearing whatever shoes you want and don't give a damn if they're comfortable.
You will find yourself speaking your mind because dammit, you've been around this particular block several times.
Happy birthday! Enjoy!
Not so fast...the definitions of aging have changed:
From 0 to 35 are the young.
From 36 to 74 are the middle aged.
From 76 to 84 are the young elderly...and you're only old at 85.
Many happy returns :-)
Kris
Thanks, Rob!
and ~~Silk, how old do I have to be to get a senior discount? I'm beginning to see an upside, here.
Becs, yep, I look forward to speaking my mind. *cough*
and Kris, I'm glad to know I'll be middle aged until 74. That sounds good to me.
I will tell you what, this morning, the six-year-old granddaughter of one of my co-workers was diagnosed with leukemia. That gave me a WHOLE new perspective on the turning-fifty thing.
Fifty? Hell yeah! Excuse me while I go get my drink on.
How old for discounts?
50 to 55 for the senior meals at IHOP, Friendly's, places like that, and just about everywhere in Florida.
60 or 62 for movie ticket discounts, sometimes bus and train tickets, etc.
65 for everywhere else that offers discounts.
A lot of places don't advertise discounts - you have to ask.
Hmmm ... maybe I'll start lying UP about my age. Or maybe I'll get a fake ID! Just like the one I had in high school, it'll say I'm ten years older than I actually am.
Yeah, THAT was totally believable. Luckily, the bouncers didn't care.
Belated...
•*´ ♡♥ ❇ ★ ♡♥ ☆ `*•.¸ ♥❄♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥❄♥ ¸.•*♡♥
❇★ ♡♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCKY CAT☆ *•.¸ ♥❄♥
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥❄♥ ¸.•*´♡♥ ❇ ★ ♡♥ ☆ *•.¸ ♥❄♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
Thank you, Birdie!
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