Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Don't p*ss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

So!  Back in September, my car started spewing antifreeze everywhere.  I went to my neighborhood garage and paid them four hundred bucks (!) to replace some hoses.  Problem solved.

Except the car was STILL leaking antifreeze.  Not as much as the original antifreeze blowout, but still leaking.  And antifreeze is poisonous.  And I have pets.  I took the car back to the garage.  "Oh!," they said.  "Must be a bad hose clamp.  We'll replace 'em all.  No charge."  Problem solved.

Except the car was STILL leaking antifreeze.  I called the garage, explaining how I was STILL finding splots of antifreeze on the garage floor, and I was still having to top off the reservoir.  Last night I took the car back to the garage again.  They gave me a loaner and called this afternoon.  "Your car's all ready!  You can come pick it up!"  I get to the garage.  "We couldn't find any leaks.  The antifreeze on  your garage floor must be some that was overfilled when you had it in last time."

hahahah oh boys I AM NOT THE VILLAGE F*CKING IDIOT.  Fuming, I grabbed the keys, drove home, pulled into the garage, got out of the car, and

smelled antifreeze.  It's still leaking.

I will tell you what, I am about to get medieval on these a**holes.  Sh*t is about to hit the fan.  YOU DON'T MESS WITH ME, YOU F*CKS.  I WILL WIPE THE FLOOR WITH YOU.

I'm good at it.  It's kind of my specialty.  If you try to f*ck me over, with something automotive or electronic or HVAC-related or anything else that I don't know much about, I CAN TELL.   And you are about to be really, really sorry that you tried to play me for a fool.

I can read the antifreeze on the garage floor, after all.

1 comment:

rockygrace said...

Can you tell I'm kind of in a bad mood, here?

Dudes, I sh*t you not, I have a boil. A f*cking BOIL. I'm about to turn fifty, not a thousand, for God's sake.

Oh man, I am not in a good mood.