Losing Our Words

I was talking to my Mom this weekend, and she said something about ".... those big orange things that are all over the place this time of year."

She's lost the word "pumpkin". It is very, very scary to watch your mother moving in reverse. I know how this is all going to turn out, and I only hope that I can handle it well.

Here's the thing about Alzheimer's: Once the person who has it reaches a certain stage, they no longer have the mental capacity to understand what is happening to them. And in my Mom's case, at least, she isn't worried about what is happening to her, because she doesn't understand that she used to be different. For example, she knows that she used to drive a car and that she doesn't anymore, but she doesn't understand that it is because she is literally losing her mind and is no longer capable of driving (by a long shot). It's just something she used to do that she doesn't do anymore. But (she thinks) she could if she wanted to.

I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe I just wish she would rail against the dying of the light instead of not even understanding that the light is dying.... I guess it's me who has the problem with Alzheimer's, not her.

But my God, this whole situation sucks.