Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Shout it out
I was in the bank last Saturday morning, and there was a little old lady ahead of me in line. She was very small, and crippled up, but she was chatting merrily with a young man, twenty-ish, who I assumed was a grandson helping her with her errands.
The teller called them up to the counter.
"I have A LOT OF STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF TODAY", the old lady said, loud enough so everyone in the bank, including people in line at the drive-thru, I'm sure, could hear.
"They took my husband off life support yesterday!" she crowed. "HE'S DEAD NOW!"
Wellll, THAT got everybody's attention right quick.
"Yep, HE'S DEAD!" she said. She didn't seem sad, or even shell-shocked. She was downright chirpy. "Now I have to figure out how to get his social security transferred to me. And I've got to switch over all the bank accounts, because they took him off life support yesterday, and NOW HE'S DEAD!"
At this point the people in line were looking everywhere except at this woman. We were intently studying the walls, the ceiling, our cell phones, ANYTHING to avoid looking at the little old lady who was merrily yelling about the death of her husband. In my case, it was because I knew that if I looked right at her I might bust out laughing, although I certainly can't speak for the motives of the rest of the people in line.
The teller said something to her that I couldn't hear because THE TELLER WASN'T YELLING, and the little old lady was directed to someone in a cubicle, who promptly got the "My husband was taken off life support yesterday and NOW HE'S DEAD!" treatment. I could hear the cubicle worker murmuring about death certificates and proper procedure and blahblahblah, but I'm not sure if the old lady was paying attention, because she was busy making sure that everyone knew that her husband? WAS DEAD!
Rest in peace, dude, whoever you are. Don't worry about your wife - I'm pretty sure she's gonna be okay.