So, who died?
I'm sorry, but I can't go along with this shit. Not unless they did some kind of whack-ass sacrificial pyre in the backyard, and the dogs went with him.
Oh, there are LOTS of things that bother me about obit photos. The ones where the subject has been cropped out of a larger picture; you can tell because he's got a phantom hand on his shoulder. The ones that are out-of-focus, or were taken several years ago., or were obviously the only photo anybody could find of the dude.
You know what? If nobody gave enough of a shit about the dude to snap a decent photo of him in the last twenty years, chances are nobody's mourning him too awful hard. Just skip the photo.
And oh, man, I was was reading one the other day that read, "He passed (passed what? Gas? Final exams?) at his home ... while playing hymns on his piano." My, my, my. Aren't WE a tad bit holier-than-thou? They shoulda added, "And then he went STRAIGHT to heaven, where God loves him BEST." Jeez.
Oh boy, and one more thing. A line like this - " In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to a charity of your choice in Marion's name." - is tasteful. A line like this - "Donations are being collected to help defray the financial needs of the family." - is AWFUL. DO NOT GET ME STARTED. THROW A SMALLER FUNERAL, PEOPLE.
Look. I get it. Dying people are expensive. Funerals are expensive. And maybe the family is poor. But begging for money in the obit? NO. WRONG. I am also not a big fan of, "Donations may be made to a trust fund for the children." ALSO WRONG. For one thing, how much money do these people think they're gonna get? A couple grand, tops? And that's worth whoring out your family in an obit? "We're so damn poor, we gotta beg for money in Dad's death notice"? I don't THINK so. GOD.
Have a little dignity, people. It's the last damn thing you can do for the deceased.
5 comments:
Shit, if I had a kids and my coparent kicked off and left me without any cash, I'd whore that shit out like a dancer at the Claremont Lounge. Dignity is great, but it won't feed your children.
When Jay became bed bound, Miss Thunderfoot took up station under the head of the hospital bed, and moved only to eat and use the litterbox. She kept vigil until the end.
The newspaper had rules for obits - NO PETS! But Miss Thunderfoot had been so devoted I figured she deserved mention. I wrote that he was survived by blah blah blah "and his ward, Miss Kit Thunderfoot."
The newspaper didn't question it, although there were some raised eyebrows from people who didn't know who Thunder was, or what a ward is. "His ward? Is that, like, a mistress?" (A ward is "a person placed by the court in the care of a guardian.")
downtown, are you saying you'd put your kids on the pole? Is that how they do it down South? *ducks* KIDDING I AM KIDDING.
and ~~Silk, I completely agree with mentioning pets in an obit, and heck, put 'em in the picture if you want. It's just that this particular pic looked so ... odd ... with the dogs sharing equal billing, so to speak ... I almost wondered if it was a post-mortem, but I'm fairly certain the newspaper wouldn't allow THAT ... although goodness knows they're awfully short-staffed anymore ...
And I didn't know Miss Thunderfoot's first name was Kit. That's sweet.
HA! Playing hymns on the piano. God is like the Honey Badger. He (She) doesn't give a shit. (I am so going to hell for saying that.)
Join the club, Birdie. :)
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