Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Hahahahahaha I love it

So! Barack Obama voiced his support of gay marriage today. And it cracked me up, because it's like he just flung a giant F*CK YOU at all the right-wing, tea-party, intolerant assholes out here.

It's, like, he held it in as long as he could, until he couldn't anymore, and then it was all YES I support gay marriage, you ignorant douchebags.

The only thing that could have made it better would have been if he had gone on to say, "Oh, and by the way, I also support jacking taxes on all you rich Republican f*cktards who scream about how hard you worked for the money, when you know damn well that you inherited that money from Daddy, who got it from Grandpa, who was the last person in your family to actually do any f*cking work. And you know what I'm gonna do with that money? Health care for everybody! Whoopee!"

and then he'd go on, "And then I'm gonna fund the f*cking SHIT out of Planned Parenthood. I'm gonna find a way to over-ride all those ignorant laws you jackoffs keep putting on the books limiting a woman's right to reproductive health care, and you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? Every. single. f*cking one of you dipshits who helped push those laws through their state governments are going to get an ultrasound of the sort you want these poor women to have to go through before they can get their abortions. Don't have a vagina? No problem! We'll go up your ass!"

and then he'll say, "And all those banking giants that were "too big to fail"? The ones that we bailed out and then allowed to keep on with their corrupt, evil, money-grubbing ways? Yeah, that shit's over. Bye-bye, asshole bankers! Have fun in prison when we prosecute your asses for f*cking over mortgage holders for the last ten years! And we WILL prosecute. I'm gonna put new teeth in the regulatory laws and hire some real ball-breaking lawyers, and you mother-f*ckers are done done DONE. And the Feds are gonna take your yachts and your mansions and your Porsches that you kept buying as the shit swirled around the drain, and we're gonna sell that shit, and you know what we're gonna do with the money? Yeah, you guessed it - we're gonna throw some HUGE mother-f*cking weddings for a bunch of gay people!"

I mean, it'll never happen, but a gal can dream, right?


~~Silk said...

Giggle. But you've got to stop smoking that green stuff before the moral police track you down!

I was amused that they actually broke into regular programming today with an ominous sounding "special announcement from the Oval Office". I thought it involved terrorists or something.

I guess it did in fact involve shooting - it was a shot across the bow! It's WAR!

the queen said...

Amazing - I didn't know about the Special Announcement, but I did fantasize a little today that it wouold be awesome if the president went on the air with a list of all the banks that hadn't loaned out any of the TARP money, and then called for a public boycott of the first bank on the list.

Becs said...

Can I get an "amen", sister? Oh hell to the yes, amen.

rockygrace said...

Matt Taibbi in Rolling Stone is doing some astonishing reporting on the whole banking fiasco. What those bastards got away with, and are STILL getting away with, is incredible.

It's just ... it makes me tired, you know? Rich white old men run the country, like they've ALWAYS run the country, and it's not enough for them that they've got all the money and all the power. They're not gonna be happy until they crush the rest of us like ants, until we have to grovel and beg them for crusts of bread. It's sick. THEY'RE sick.

Anonymous said...

Holy Crap--You phrased it even better than the President!

The bank bailout fiasco burns almost as the "let's get all up in the lady parts bizness"

Anonymous said...

I like the way you think.

- bridgett