So! Barack Obama voiced his support of gay marriage today. And it cracked me up, because it's like he just flung a giant F*CK YOU at all the right-wing, tea-party, intolerant assholes out here.
It's, like, he held it in as long as he could, until he couldn't anymore, and then it was all YES I support gay marriage, you ignorant douchebags.
The only thing that could have made it better would have been if he had gone on to say, "Oh, and by the way, I also support jacking taxes on all you rich Republican f*cktards who scream about how hard you worked for the money, when you know damn well that you inherited that money from Daddy, who got it from Grandpa, who was the last person in your family to actually do any f*cking work. And you know what I'm gonna do with that money? Health care for everybody! Whoopee!"
and then he'd go on, "And then I'm gonna fund the f*cking SHIT out of Planned Parenthood. I'm gonna find a way to over-ride all those ignorant laws you jackoffs keep putting on the books limiting a woman's right to reproductive health care, and you know what? YOU KNOW WHAT? Every. single. f*cking one of you dipshits who helped push those laws through their state governments are going to get an ultrasound of the sort you want these poor women to have to go through before they can get their abortions. Don't have a vagina? No problem! We'll go up your ass!"
and then he'll say, "And all those banking giants that were "too big to fail"? The ones that we bailed out and then allowed to keep on with their corrupt, evil, money-grubbing ways? Yeah, that shit's over. Bye-bye, asshole bankers! Have fun in prison when we prosecute your asses for f*cking over mortgage holders for the last ten years! And we WILL prosecute. I'm gonna put new teeth in the regulatory laws and hire some real ball-breaking lawyers, and you mother-f*ckers are done done DONE. And the Feds are gonna take your yachts and your mansions and your Porsches that you kept buying as the shit swirled around the drain, and we're gonna sell that shit, and you know what we're gonna do with the money? Yeah, you guessed it - we're gonna throw some HUGE mother-f*cking weddings for a bunch of gay people!"
I mean, it'll never happen, but a gal can dream, right?