Tuesday, February 10, 2009


I just got an e-mail with the heading "Family Reunion" from one of my out-of-state relatives. You KNOW that's an e-mail that bodes evil. Evidently she and another relative have been discussing having a get-together in my area this summer, and she wants to know if I'll be on the organizing committee.

Um ............. no?

Not only am I unable to "organize" my way out of a paper bag, there's only about ten five percent of my family I actually care about spending any time with. I don't even want to GO to a family reunion, let alone help organize it.

So ......... do I just delete the e-mail and pretend I never got it? Respond with a "thanks, but no thanks"? This particular relative has a habit of having GREAT BIG PLANS that never amount to anything, so there is no way I'm getting involved in this little train wreck. Oh, and both she and the other relative are RETIRED, hello, so honey, I think you've got just a leeetle more time than I do.

I think I'll just delete it.

Updated to add: So then I was thinking, I'll send back an e-mail saying that while I'm no good at "organizing" (which is actually a big fat lie; I am extremely good, maybe too good at organizing stuff; I just don't want to organize THIS), I could help out on the big day. And then I thought, "no, I don't even want to BE there, let alone help out", and then I thought, well, how miserly is THAT, but really, if you knew (most of) my family, you'd understand. Then again, well, the last time we all got together was for my Dad's funeral (sob), which was ten years ago (gosh, has it been that long already?), but hey, assholes don't change, and it's not like the jerks I couldn't stand ten years ago will have miraculously morphed into people I want to hang out with for the day .....

Okay, now I'm rambling. Sorry about that.


Bridgett said...

Dear Elderly Relatives,

Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm unable to assist.

Best of luck with your planning,


Bridgett said...

In other words, be brief, polite, and to the point in your declining of this "honor." I have a bad case of the "so sorry, but I have other plans for that date" when it comes to family reunions.

kitkat said...

How about saying you can't take on more responsibilities right now because you're trying to buy a house (and whatever else you're doing your life), and you don't want to drop the ball because your mind's on other things? Too elaborate?

I hate stuff like this. Nothing says you have to like your family, except for, well, your family.

Bridgett said...

When I say no, I just say no. What I think of as a reasonable reason, others perceive as an excuse or an invitation to dismiss/trivialize/springboard to tell me why my needs are not nearly as important as their own and so forth. I finally figured out that I owe very few people an extended explanation of the exact whys and wherefores of my no. A pushy relative that I don't like and haven't seen in years probably doesn't make that short list.

rockygrace said...

Done and done.

This is a fairly close relative, not someone I never hear from, so I said, "Unfortunately, I am really busy house-hunting right now and won't be able to help out."

It's perfect because IT'S TRUE!! Heeeeee. Thanks, guys!