On Saturday, I got pulled over for doing 56 in a 45.
In my defense (I always have a defense, doncha know), I was on a rural two-lane road that cuts through a lot of small towns, meaning the speed limit goes from 55 to 30 to 35 to 55 to 45 ..... it just changes constantly. And I was following a line of cars, so I just assumed we were all going under the speed limit.
According to the nice state trooper, I was wrong.
When I first saw the flashing lights behind me, I pulled over to the side of the road, thinking the cop was on the way to someplace else and would just blow by me.
As I sat in my car, debating whether I should pull out my license and registration or wait for the trooper to ask for them, I realized that if I was indeed pulled over for speeding (I couldn't think of any other reason I'd be getting pulled over), this would be my first speeding ticket ever! In thirty years of driving, I had never gotten a speeding ticket. It's not that I'm a goody-goody, it's just that unless I'm rushing somebody to the hospital, I see no need to drive like an idiot. Hmmmf. And really, if I get to work five minutes late in the morning, well ......... whoopee! Oh, and sometimes I do speed, there'd just never been a cop around to witness it.
So! The nice state trooper comes up to my window and asks for my license, registration, and proof of insurance. She asked if I knew why she had pulled me over, and for one insane second I thought about saying, "Because of all those outstanding warrants?", or, "Because of that body wedged underneath the rear axle?", but instead, I just said, "I would have to guess that maybe I've been speeding?", because, honestly, I didn't know that I had been speeding, but that was the only thing that came to mind.
"Yep", she said, "You were doing 56 in a 45. Although to tell you the truth, you certainly don't look like most of the speed demons we get on this stretch of road."
Oooohh, I thought. Profiling!
And then I wondered what a "speed demon" looked like. I'm picturing a teenager in a hot rod wearing bobby socks and ........... oh wait. That was "Happy Days."
So she checked out my license and registration and insurance, told me everything was in order, asked me to pay more attention to the posted speed limits (I sure will, officer!), and let me off with a warning.
Whew! My driving record remains pure as the driven snow. Heh.