So! Work. Even after the immediate threat of The Project had been removed, I was still having problems with severe anxiety, panic attacks, and irrational bouts of tears.
(And if there is a man reading this right now (I know, I know, WHAT ARE THE ODDS, but still), I can just hear you (the theoretical man who is reading, that is) saying, "typical woman", so, Dear Sir, please let me know where you are so I can come kick you in the junk.)
Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. Not really getting better, on the mental front. So I called the office of my primary care physician this afternoon and briefly explained the situation, stating that I think I needed some help of the mental sort, and HOLY HELL, evidently that will get some alarm bells ringing right quick, because I was offered immediate care if I felt it necessary (nope, not gonna slit my wrists, at least not right now, thanks), and an appointment as soon as I felt I would be able to come in in the morning.
Because I *do* need help. I don't know why I can't get my brain to step down from PANIC MODE PANIC MODE SOUND THE ALARMS A-OOO-GA A-OOO-GA, but I need to do so, or I'm afraid that some kind of internal circuit breakers in my head are going to start frying right up.
(And if you are reading this right now thinking, "over-reaction, much?", you are probably still that same man I want to come kick in the junk (see above), so go eff right off. I don't KNOW why I can't calm down, I just know that I CAN'T right now, and it's scaring me and I'm tired of feeling the way I feel.)
So! Doctor's appointment in the a.m. I will, of course, keep you posted.
Oh! And let's end on a more cheerful note, shall we? The hyacinths are in bloom.
(Yep, that's right, Little Miss Head Case managed to snap a pic. I'm cured! Eff you, Dear (theoretical) Sir.)
10 comments:
I don't think Mr. Theoretical Man wants you to feel like this and I don't either. Give yourself credit for reaching out for help. Sometimes our brain chemistry gets out of whack and we need a little help to get back in balance. Thinking warm thoughts at you.
Kris
Is it possible you are still invested in "the project", and the boss has (I assume) left for his jaunt, and you're afraid the snit will hit the wall and you'll get splashed? Um, how old are you? Could it be hormonal? Well, doctor is a very good idea, and I'm sure you'll get some help. Maybe you just need someone to swear at.
How are the resumes coming?
You wisely opted for the doctor without a struggle. I delayed too long. I'm going on Monday.
Good for you!
Do what you gotta do, and just to let you know I started perimenopause at 36 and started getting "hormonal" mid forty. Not to beat a dead horse.
Well, since we're ALL going to the doctor with you, in spirit anyway, I hope you will keep everyone updated. Maybe menopause COULD be messin' with you more than it would with some. I know you are too bright to let them talk you into accepting this agony as a new normal..........At least have them give you some meds to even things out (Xanax, whatever). Hoping for some better news and a solution!
IT'S NOT HORMONES, DUDES. SHEESH.
Well..........the hyacinths are beautiful!
Nope, never said it was hormones - it's stress. And you deserve better.
Kris
haha thanks guys. :)
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