So! I was sitting at a four-way intersection at a stop sign this morning, waiting my turn in traffic, MINDING MY OWN DAMN BUSINESS, groceries in the back of the car, when a dude in a pickup truck came flying up the intersecting road. He had to be going sixty, easy. He flipped on his turn signal and started to turn onto the road where I was waiting, his tires screaming. "He's going way too fast to make this corner," I thought. "I hope I don't get hurt too bad."
He plowed into my front end. It's actually probably a good thing he did, because if he hadn't, he might've taken out the old man who was in the church parking lot next to the road.
He rolled down his window. I rolled down my window.
"I'm so so sorry," he said. "Are you all right?"
"I think I'm okay," I said. "Let me see if I can get the car off the road. Let's pull into this parking lot here and exhange insurance information. We're going to need a police report, too."
"I'm so sorry! I'm really sorry," he said. "I'm just going to turn around, and follow you into the parking lot."
and that's the last I saw of the dude in the pickup truck. I limped the car into the parking lot.
"I saw the whole thing!," said the old man. "I've got a description of the truck!"
Other people started coming out of the church. "Are you all right? Can we help?"
"I don't have my cell," I said, because OF COURSE. "Could someone please call the police? There's going to need to be a report. And I might need a tow truck."
The old dude waited by the road, so he could "flag down the police." I don't think they would've missed the pile of debris in the road, but it was a nice thought. I took a closer look at the damage, pulling some of the shattered parts away from the wheel and checking underneath the car to make sure nothing was leaking out.
About half an hour later, a policeman came. "Are you all right?," he asked.
"I'm okay," I said.
"I saw the whole thing!," said the old man.
"Sorry it took so long to get here," the policeman said. "After the guy hit you, he hit a whoooole bunch of other stuff. Mailboxes, you name it. He was pretty easy to find. We've got him down at the station right now. Thankfully, nobody was hurt."
Holy SHIT, I thought.
My poor car. I'm sorry, little Hyundai. If I had had any idea that we were about to be part of a crime spree this morning, I would've just stayed home.